Skip to main content

Five Question Not to Ask Single People This Holiday Season..

Getting older is not easy. While you have those who celebrate getting older, you have those few who aren’t ready to face the fact of life. However, getting older for women is much harder than men. We  have to deal with audience of curious eyes watching our every move, as we get older. No matter what we accomplish, it always the little things that everyone seem to notice other to than our current success. I was blessed with parents that loved me no matter what, whether I was married with kids; or single and happy. Either way they love me, nonetheless everyone aren’t so lucky. Well, since the holiday season are coming upon us, it not an easy time to be single. We get it you guys had high hope for us, but just because it going a little slower than we expected doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Some don't mind the usual line of questioning. However, you will have those few who wish you would leave them the fuck alone. So, here are the five questions not to ask singles people during the holiday season.

“When are you having kids?”
 It was shown that women are having children at a later rate, due to unforeseen circumstances. I get it, my 16-year-old cousin beat me to the punch of having a child first so, everyone looking at me wondering, “when am I having kids?”. it nothing more disrespectful then to asked someone when they're having children. No one know the true tale why one wait to have a child. Nor, is it anyone business why one chose to wait. Sometimes people want to get their life in order before bringing the child in the world. If you notice black women aren’t allowed to rest, so give us time before having a kid. Some of us actually want to be married before having a child and finding love these days aren’t exactly an easy task anymore. So, please save yourself from asking this question cause the answer is the same as last year.

When are you getting married”
Believe it or not women hate this question more than the first. When you have been single for an extended amount of time it seem like everyone have given on you finding love, more than you did. When you was in college, it was easy to explain why you haven't find love yet. But now, they blame you. A woman can have three businesses, a house, great credit, and three cars but if she ain’t married then she consider damaged good in the eyes of her family. So, every year it seem like your aunt, or grandma literally wait until you are in a room full of people to ask why you not married yet. And usually you have an answer ready. But now, you just want everyone to stay the fuck out your business. Finding love isn’t on every woman agenda. Some women want to accomplish some personal goals before settling down. Nonetheless, if love happen to find us while we are on our journey then we will welcome it with opening arms. However, please don’t asked me when I’m getting marred or better yet, don’t asked me the next question.  

“Why haven’t you found a man yet”
Coming in the holiday season single is the worst. Not because you single, it like everywhere you go, you’re the third wheel. And people still invite you just to give you those pity looks like it the end of the world you're alone. However, before you deal with the outside, you have to deal with your family first. Before you get hit with the “Married” question, you will get with this question first. Like I said before, finding love isn’t on everyone agenda. And this dating pool isn’t exactly the best when it comes to finding love. So, it’s taking us longer to find the right one. And to be asked this question over and over again knowing it was just as hard for them to find love get old. Yes, it would be nice to find love before the holiday season, but some would whether wait than to have another failed relationship under their belt. And hell, these days, most people are just looking for a pot to piss in and a free meal during the holiday season so be careful before you go sharing your relationship this season.

“Let me set you up on a date”
We all have that family member, or friend of the family that has this amazing person for us. They tell you how great this person, and you sit there listening and wonder if this guy so great then why is he single? Sometimes a blind date can lead you to a great person. However, most of the time this person feel same way you do and doesn’t want to be set up with anyone. No one want a pity date, or a pity relationship with pity kids. No thank you! Relatives, and friends are notorious at offering to play match maker. Don’t fall for it. We understand their intentions are in the right place, but it is not a grave matter that needs outside intervention unless you really want a hook up. No matter how hard they push just say no.

“What happened with your last boyfriend”
In all of my dating history, my family has only met two men and only one man has ever met my extended family. The reason being cause if you bring one bad apple around your family, they will never let you live it down. You can damn near bring Michael B. Jordan home next, and your family will still bring up the time you brought home that bum who wore a Facebook shirt when they first met him. Nonetheless, all jokes  aside no one want to be reminded of the last person you dated. But that what happen when you bring a new guy to every holiday season. You bring a new guy around so much, that they can't no longer keep up. However, you have that one guy that your family grew to love, and he became like family. But who cares? would be the appropriate answer, but you don’t want to sound like a bitch and upset about your relationship status. Your ex could be from four years ago. So, to continue to be the subject of discussion whenever family gets together, and it sucks. Who cares if they bonded with them? It's done and in the past can we please move on?
That is All

Images by Gihpy


Tisha said…
“Why haven’t you found a man yet”
Now that I'm in my final year of university I get asked this all the time as if you get handed your degree and a husband as a bonus on graduation day!
With you on all of these!
Great post!
Kala said…
"What happened with your last boyfriend"? Is so true recently ! I'm so tired of hearing these statements! Happy I wont be in the country for the holidays this year because of it. Thanks for posting!
Girl! You would think people would already know this. Let people be happy single. That's why a lot of these woman settle for b.s instead of waiting for their prince. I couldn't agree more. I'm married now but I absolutely will not be doing this to my single family members. I always take up for them. Great post!

Popular posts from this blog

When Hurt People Hurt: Nas and Kelis

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Sometimes the demons we face, are not the person we’ve dated fault. We’ll never know the demons anyone truly face, until they decide if they want to take it out on us. We try to be there and show them something different but soon realize their demons are slowly killing us. As I come to learn a man is his mother image. A man is what his mother make him to be, he may carry out some of his father actions; but his character come from his mother. Like a woman is what her father tell her to be. Whether he speak it with his words or speak it with his actions (by not being in her life), a woman carry her father words with her everywhere she goes and in all of her relationships. That why sometimes when a man is reckless, if his mother understand his actions then no one else opinion of him even matter. Vice versa with a woman. We chose to play doctor but doesn’t stay around to fully cure that person injuries. We just add more cuts, to an already wounded soul…

My Thoughts on Love Is...

As I always say, when the love is real it not meant for anyone on the outside to understand. I always ask women “what would they do for love?” Some women answer, while some just look at me like I’m crazy. Everyone loves to claim they have a limitation on love. However, as one told me you only have limitation when you haven’t met your match. Now, before I could write this story I had to re-watch this series twice just to make sure I was understanding what I was watching. Therefore, after watching this show I got something to say and it won’t be pretty. My new addiction celebrating black love is Love Is”, which tells the origin story of a modern-day love, before social media came and destroyed well trying to destroy love for everyone. This show has become the topic of discussion more than this season of “Insecure” (I’m still waiting for that wow moment of this season). Love Is_ is set in '90s. And tells the story of two Black creatives who fall for each other quickly. Nuri works as…

What to Do When A Person Ghost You

We all knew this day was coming and now it time I write about it. This Sunday night, was the season finale of “insecure." Now, before I get to the point of the story I must share my thoughts of this whole season. I was looking for that spark this season like season one, and two, but I didn’t receive one until the end. Even the whole Daniel and Issa storyline that was a letdown. When I saw she brought back Lawrence I was hoping that finally they would work it out, but again Lawrence on that bitch ass shit. However, the relationship between Nathan and Issa was the talk on black twitter. While Issa thoughts she finally met a good guy who challenge her, Nathan proved that “the lighter the eyes, the bigger the lies.” While we have to wait until Next Year to see exactly where this relationship will go, Nathan pulled a move that was close to home for many people. It hurt like hell when a person leave you without any warning or reasons. It leave you asking yourself, “What did you do?” We…