We all knew this day was coming and now it time I write about it. This Sunday night, was the season finale of “insecure." Now, before I get to the point of the story I must share my thoughts of this whole season. I was looking for that spark this season like season one, and two, but I didn’t receive one until the end. Even the whole Daniel and Issa storyline that was a letdown. When I saw she brought back Lawrence I was hoping that finally they would work it out, but again Lawrence on that bitch ass shit. However, the relationship between Nathan and Issa was the talk on black twitter. While Issa thoughts she finally met a good guy who challenge her, Nathan proved that “the lighter the eyes, the bigger the lies.” While we have to wait until Next Year to see exactly where this relationship will go, Nathan pulled a move that was close to home for many people. It hurt like hell when a person leave you without any warning or reasons. It leave you asking yourself, “What did you do?” We all had that one person that ghost you without warning. Everything going good, until they just dropped off the face of the Earth, without any explanation whatsoever. Most of the time, people who ghost you stay gone. But, every once in a while, that person who ghosted you ends up coming back from the dead. Like Nathan did, and think if they apologize then everything will be okay. Nonetheless, when a person actually leave your life in that manner it a great chance they’re not coming back.
It seem like respect no longer exist in many relationship. While many seek love, it like they tend to leave out respect. While you shouldn’t even have to ask for it, but if you got to ask your spouse not to cheat then should we be surprise that we have to ask for respect. And that the true issue of ghosting the lack of respect of one feelings. One minute it's going well, and it seem like you finally met the one. He tells you he'll call tomorrow - the next, he's evaporated, not returning calls and when you check your message; you see that he "read" your message but won’t reply back. The first three days you play it cool. You don’t wanna come off as needy, but as the days turn into weeks you start to realize that he’s not coming back. You start to ask yourself “Why did he ghost you?” “Where did he go?” “What the hell happen for him to leave you out in the cold?” Generally, men love to use any excuse they can think of rather than admit they have a fear of confrontation. That's why ghosting has become such a big thing. And with technology as a primary means of communication in dating and relationships, it has made ghosting that much easier. But is it confrontation we're asking for, or just simple honesty? It many reason why many choose to go ghost, then to actually face that person. Sometimes you guys hit it off immediately, suddenly you’re exchanging in conversation all day, seeing each other every other day, and everything is perfect. However, when any relationships that happen too quickly or seem perfect. They are never right off the bat. And it will freak them out how good it is at first. But instead of enjoying that they have actually met someone who actually give a damn about them, that’s when they start to pull away. The conversation become shorter, and now all you’re getting these one worded text conversations. At first, they wanted to see you after work every other day, but now they will get “back” to you. You hoping that it not you, and it not. Everyone love to say they’re ready for a relationship then to actually mentally prepare for a relationship. As I tell anyone time and time again, relationship are a state of mind and if you’re not ready mentally then you will never be ready. And when a person ghosted you without waring it just shows that they was never ready in the first place, they was just looking for a free meal and a quick trill.
Maybe his vanishing act came after a period of him pulling away. Or maybe it came suddenly, out of the blue. It doesn’t matter, it still means the same thing: he’s not into you and honesty he never really were. Maybe he met someone else or maybe he just had an epiphany that he can’t see himself with you. Either way, the damage is done, and there’s not a damn thing you can about it so, don’t torture yourself over it. Most people do. Thinking that if they sit in their self-pity, then it will lead them to answers. In reality, you will end up in an “Issa” situation sitting out front of his house, waiting for him to come home to confront him. I been there wondering, in tears just trying to find answers that I already knew. You will ask yourself “why doesn’t he just say it to your face that he not into you?” It simple because it’s an uncomfortable conversation to have and he doesn’t wanna have it with you. It as simple as that. Most men just aren’t as equipped to handle emotional situations as women are, so they avoid them. If a person cannot properly articulate their reasons for wanting out, they will go ghost. Do that make them a coward? Hell yes, but if they choose that route then they shouldn’t be surprise when it happen to them. They may have left you confuse and hurt, and unable to trust another person for a long time. However, remember don’t let them take your dignity with them. Let them go, don’t come up with any reasons to initiate any contact. So what if you need “closure,” or “you want to hear their voice one more time.” No reason is worth losing a piece of yourself. Love is a scary game when you have those who are playing checkers, while you are playing chess. But it a lesson we need in order to grow. However, as I always what do I know? I’m just here to share my thoughts, on my journey of self.
That is All
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