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My Thoughts on Love Is...

As I always say, when the love is real it not meant for anyone on the outside to understand. I always ask women “what would they do for love?” Some women answer, while some just look at me like I’m crazy. Everyone loves to claim they have a limitation on love. However, as one told me you only have limitation when you haven’t met your match. Now, before I could write this story I had to re-watch this series twice just to make sure I was understanding what I was watching. Therefore, after watching this show I got something to say and it won’t be pretty. My new addiction celebrating black love is Love Is”, which tells the origin story of a modern-day love, before social media came and destroyed well trying to destroy love for everyone. This show has become the topic of discussion more than this season of “Insecure” (I’m still waiting for that wow moment of this season). Love Is_ is set in '90s. And tells the story of two Black creatives who fall for each other quickly. Nuri works as a writer on a popular Black sitcom. While Yasir is an aspiring director who is unemployed, two-time divorcee whom he was living with when he meets Nuri, the love of his life. However, Nuri doesn’t know any of this when they first meet. In the present day, older versions of Nuri and Yasir sit on a couch orating the origin story of their interesting courtship which eventually led to marriage.


Like I said I was getting hit up left and right from women who was asking me to share my thoughts. But with school and two jobs trying to watch this show wasn’t easy, until I had a four-day weekend where I could sit and watch this show in peace. Now, I did follow the show, but I missed a few so I had to sit down; and rewatch it again to understand why women wasn’t to pleased with Yasir. I get why women has issues with the show, and the storyline because it felt to familiar. As I said earlier, some people will go to great measures for the one that they love. I know we’ve all thought about how far you would go for someone you love. Some will go to the moon and back. Others won’t go as far as the next room. But how far is too far? Now, watching this show there was somethings that made me cringe. Like how quickly Nuri and Yasir jump into commitment, and how much Nuri was willing to give in order to be with Yasir. Yes, she had many men that wanted to be with her, but she chose to be with Yasir; a man that was nowhere near her level. Consider the level she was on in the 90s, she could’ve damn near dated the president during that time, but she wanted to be with Yasir. Which women in these times had a hard time understanding. Asking why out of all the men she had to choose from, she choose a broke two-time divorcee director which left women confused. It made women wonder “do we have to settle in order to find love?”
Whether or not we want to admit it, sometimes we settle in life — with our jobs, in our friendships, and mostly in our relationships. When we settle in relationships, we put our interest in quantity over quality, and in doing so we’re denying ourselves real happiness. When you get to a certain point in your life, you start to believe that someone is better than no one. It may feel like we’re not doing anything bad but settling is damaging to both people in the relationship. It’s also fuck up. For many, it can feel easier to suck the shit up and hope it'll get better than to rock the boat and wait for your true destiny. However, sometimes you need to rock the boat to find your peace. Sometimes, when a relationship bringing you down or just making you feel empty, you shouldn’t just rock the boat, but throw yourself in the damn water and swim as far as you can. We’re not doing ourselves any favors when we settle in our relationships. It easy to say you have someone, but it very hard to say you met someone who spark your soul. If anything, we’re just setting ourselves up to be fucking miserable, even if we’re not miserable at the moment don’t worry; it’s come. However, watching “Love Is” I didn’t feel like Nuri was settling in truth she met her equal.


Now, like I said many won’t agree with me and that okay. I’m no longer a first-year blogger looking for everyone approval. The truth is, that Yasir was Nuri equal, I know we want a close to perfect man when we meet the one. However, I come to learn sometimes that one who is born just for us won’t be that picture we painted. Nonetheless, I’m not saying to settle because we shouldn’t have to settle when we seek true happiness. However, it doesn’t matter what generations that came before us that influence our relationship. When it come to this topic, it will always leave us divided. Conversations about dating is always a debate for Black folks. We can’t find the common ground when this conversation come up. We are a community that is constantly swimming against statistics and stereotypes that make Black love feel like stereotypes or it just doesn’t exist. In this generation we don’t know what we want, yet we know that we don’t wanna be alone. We see these “amazing” black couples and fantasize about having their relationships. However, in the time we live in now dating isn’t what it used to be. And that why I love this show, it showed a time where we actually work for love. They didn’t depends on social media to define what their relationship meant to them. He didn’t have no cell phone or Facebook, he let his actions and words to the talking for him. Yasir was the man for Nuri simply because he challenge her in way that no man has ever done before. And Nuri gave Yasir the belief that no woman ever really had in him. While some will disagree until you meet your spark you won’t fully understand. I was very happy to hear this how was pick up for a season two, I'm curious to see where this story shall head. And even if you don’t agree with their relationship remember these two are responsible for our favorite childhood TV shows.  As usual as I always say what do I know, I’m just here to share my thoughts on my journey of self.
That is All
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Comments

KJ said…
Great post! I've only seen one episode of this show so I don't know the depth of it but your post states a lot of valuable information and points. Look forward to more from you!
Rai said…
I love several themes you brought up

-How far will you go for love? Some people will go to the moon and back and others won't even go to the next room. Love this!
-The idea of settling for love
-The theme of Black Love, its challenges, the beauty of it, the stereotypes, all of it. Love it.

One idea you brought up was about social media. I love for you to go deeper and explain what you mean....You say social media detroyed...well is trying to destroy love. What do you mean by that? Sounds like it might even be an interesting blog post.
Ki'ara said…
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this show! I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet, but from the description you gave of the relationship, it reminds me a bit of the give and take nature of the relationship in Acrimony (but a lot more beneficial for both parties in the end).

Can’t wait to watch!

xo,
— ki’ara | itsallgoodsis.com
Ahhh I've heard mixed reviews about this show. I didn't want to read the whole post becaeuse I didn't want any spoilers. I need to get to watching!
I have only seen bits and pieces of one episode of this show, but I have heard good things. Because I lived and loved before social media and I met my current husband on social media, I have a vantage point from both sides. I believe love is worth fighting for up to a point. Ahhh there is always a point...right? :) I believe it is okay to give more than you get for a while but not forever. I believe that once you've given until the giving doesn't feel good anymore, it is time to stop. I am an empath, therefore giving is in my spirit, however, I just believe there should be give and take. With that said, I have seen couples where one or the other has forgiven things I never thought I could. Couples that have weathered the storm and they are happy and their relationship has withstood the test of time...while I am a divorcee because I I had a limit to my giving. So I guess there is something to be said for giving your all. As long as it is within your comfort zone. Great article!

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