Sometimes you realize that it's time to walk away from a friendship, even if you don't know how. Maybe you just grew apart. Or maybe all of the red flags been there and you now believe that you're better off without that person in your life. That's ok, it happens. When it comes to ending unhealthy friendships, whether it's romantic or platonic, there's a right way to do it. Every relationship in our lives (family, friends, or personal) all have a time clock on it. Sometimes we get used to a person actions, that we no longer speak on it. Hell, we even get so used to it that we tune it and them out. However, one day will come that you know it time to say goodbye even if you’ve known that person for years. Time for “Jubo Story time,” back when I was 21 I became very close to this woman. This woman became like a sister to me. I told this woman everything I mean everything, I trusted this woman like she was my family. Until I started to notice a change in her behavior, my mother warned me not to get to close to her simply because of our age difference (I was 21, she was 28 at the time). And the fact she was a wife and a mother didn’t help her case, but I didn’t listen I really thought this woman was my friend. Until she turned on me, and started telling everyone my business. I didn’t want to believe it until the same day she called me going off accusing me of spreading her business (which wasn’t true at that point I was in the dark of what she had going on she have basically already cut me off). That when I knew it was true, seven years later she reached out trying to fix our friendship claiming her failed marriage was the reason behind her actions. However, the damage was done, and I just say hi when she speaks to me every now and then on Facebook.
Ending a friendship is far worse than ending a relationship for two reasons. The first reason is that a friendship isn't as commitment oriented as a relationship - there is no belief that down the line you and your friend are going to end up being life partners or are friends for the purpose of building a future together. I'm not saying that breakups aren't hard, but I think ending a friendship is worse because you believe that this will be your friend with for a very long time, whereas relationships are unknown and normally have an ending date. The second reason is that mutual friends always get involved, regardless if they try to stay out of the situation. There is no stopping it. If you have a large group of friends, a fallout is bound to make an impact. When our fallout begins, everyone took her side and left me alone. It hurts me, but it shows me how people felt about me. The problem with this is that once everyone gets involved, it becomes even more complicated and make you question who was really has your back. Your mutual friends say they understand the situation and that there won't be any "sides," but they don't and there are. That just what happens when someone is caught in the middle, and you get that, but it doesn't make it any better. Of course, your mutual friends will try to maintain relationships with the both of you, but let's be honest, it never works out that way.
Not every friendship was meant to last. Sometimes, there is a natural drifting apart. Other times, there is a precise moment in which you know your friendship is over. And as much as I wanted to ignore that our friendship was ending I knew that it was near. When I saw her chasing this missing youth, I knew it was close to over. I’m not saying that I was so mature in my 20s, but I had my limits. And I knew that what they consider “fun” wasn’t my type of fun. They were partying every weekend, and I wasn’t into that. I did my dirt but I knew my limit. You can’t live without good friends. But every once in a while, there’s that one friend you are able to survive without. And as time went on I saw that. And as months passed on everyone who turned on me for her, saw her true colors as well. However, as I grew to learn from that situation it only takes one time to cross me and after that one time I’m done with you. Furthermore, even though I didn’t cause the falling out I thought that maybe I was the problem. Maybe I should’ve tired harder or maybe I should have been more open to trying new things at the time. But I realize even if I did all of the things that she considers fun I would be becoming someone that I’m not. I’m no angel, but I always been true to who I am, and I love who I am and if they didn’t like me I really didn’t give a fuck anymore after our fallout.Not every friendship is lifelong. People grow apart. If you want to end a friendship, whether you've known the person for years, or only a few months, there way to do it. We don't want to hurt people's feelings, but sometimes that's inevitable, and is going to happen no matter what tack we take. It best to walk away than to stay and force a friendship like you would force a relationship. It did hurt to lose her as a friend, because I do remember the time she had my back and I has hers. But even though it ended horribly our friendship had run its course. When it comes time to close that door accept that your friend may be hurt, or defensive. Because there's probably no special way to phrase this rejection but you will get around that. If you have to tell them what they've done that made you end the relationship, let them know in a constructive way. If you don't want to tell them why you're ending things, because you think they wouldn't understand, or they would rag you into a discussion you'd rather not have, then use vague platitudes like, "It's me that's changed," or "I can't give you the friendship you’re looking for." Never give out more information than you'd like to. Stick to your guns even if they aren't accepting what you are telling them. You're not obligated to tell them the truth, nor do you even have to explain yourself after you made yourself very clear. Just like a relationship, you can’t avoid being the bad guy. But it will be a time where you will have to just let it go. In the end all you can do is wish your old friend well and do what's best for yourself.
That is All
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