Skip to main content

The Laura Winslow & Steve Urkel Dating System: How Your Type Keep You Single

A woman once told me that “our pussy attracts, what we are attractive too.”  At first, I didn’t understand that after all I was just 13 at the time. However, now that I'm older I see her point as clear as day. It a simple question that I hear all the time can your “type” keep you single? Once upon a time I had type, then I fell in love with a man that didn’t fit nothing of what I thought I was looking for. He's my opposite but he makes me very happy and has open my eyes and mind. When I get asked this question I used “family matters” as my example. Yes, I used in my opinion the worst black family sitcom as my example on how your type can keep you single.

If you grew up and watch the show, then you know how it went. Laura Winslow went from Middle School to damn near college shooting down Steve Urkel every chance she could get. Steve Urkel chase after Laura, like he didn’t have Myra standing in his corner. Myra loves Steve but his heart belongs to Laura. Even though he had more in common with Myra than Laura, he didn’t care he KNEW in his mind that no other woman would be good enough (men do you see the problem here). It wasn’t until she was almost 30 that she decided to give Steve Urkel a chance (women do you see the problem here). I don’t know what happen after that, the show got boring to me so I stop watching it. “He not my type.” Most of us has have said it, but all of us have heard someone we close to say it. Everyone have preferences in all aspects of life which you should, but the biggest mistakes a woman always making is pigeonholing themselves into a single “type” of person when it comes to dating and relationship. And don’t say you don’t because you do, if he doesn’t have at least 4 of the 10 things you’re looking for in a man you will shoot him down in a heartbeat. Every time I go on Facebook I see women crying about how their last boyfriend did them wrong, just to get into another relationship with the exact same type of guy. At first, I didn’t think I had a type until I sat down and took a hard look at myself which I will break it down in the story. Now, it should be noted that I am using the word “dating” in a casual sense. I refer to dating as in going out and having a good time, not dating as in moving in together and playing house after three dates. Like I said before this summer is all about having fun and shooting your shot. Not playing house with someone, who just looking for a place to stay.

One of the best things to do is date someone you swore you’d never date. In all honestly your type is built to keep you single. Just because you date someone who isn’t your type, doesn't  mean that you’re settling please get that out of your mind. When close yourself off to only dating your type you just hurting yourself, in all reality, your “type” doesn’t exist anywhere outside your mind. I’m not saying you can’t find him, what I’m saying is you will meet him but he will only fit the bill halfway. When we go out looking for our type and fail time after time again that when we get frustrated and end up rushing into a relationship that will hurt us in the long run. The relationship ends up affecting not only our love lives, but our trust in men altogether. It’s not until you’ve reached out of your comfort zone that you can really even have a type of what you’re looking for. Most people will go from failed relationship to failed relationship and blame it on the individual that it didn’t work out with. Instead of looking at themselves as the reason why they’re still single. The best way to find love is to date someone who is absolutely the opposite of what they’re looking for. When I find out my type was emotionally unavailable men I knew that I had change, before I end up only hurting myself in the end.
The problem with having a type is that you’re playing it safe. You putting it in your mind that this is the only type of guy, that will be able to please; and make you happy. You limiting yourself from your true happiness. Realistically, it won’t take long before you realize that everyone we interact with is bat-shit crazy, and you were right, but at least you took the risk. You will become a better person for going through the experience of opening yourself up to a new type of guy. Stop looking for someone who you can benefits from, and find someone who can help you grow in this world we’re living in. When you stop looking for the perfect boyfriend as if they were perfectly arranged, you’ll come across something even better than you imagined. It may or may not come in the form of a relationship. It could just be a life lesson, it could be the motivation you need to better yourself, or it can just be a really great time. Out of those three scenarios, none of them will turn out bad for you. The way I look at it, if you keep actively dating/pursuing a relationship with your “type,” yet, still single, then either the majority of your partners are all bad apples, or you might be the one that needs to be tossed away. At the end of the day, if you’re exploring your options, what do you have to lose? Just don’t be Laura or Steve Urkel.

That is All
Images by Google




Comments

Such a good piece about something that happens all the time and we might not realize it. I learned long ago to throw away the list and to be open. Not saying don't have standards, just don't be rigid. When you do that you have options.
Leslie Grier said…
Great advice, not just for dating but for life. Be open to new experiences.
Kita said…
I plan to be open when I start dating again. All the types mean nothing in the end. I just want honesty and fun at the end of the day.
Great topic and post. You took me back as I used to watch and enjoy this show.
Shana said…
Dating is so complicated. You just gotta be strong no matter what.
Kasi said…
Dating someone out of your usual type can be rewarding. I dating someone out of normal type and it didn't end too well so I went back to my type, LOL!

Popular posts from this blog

When Hurt People Hurt: Nas and Kelis

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Sometimes the demons we face, are not the person we’ve dated fault. We’ll never know the demons anyone truly face, until they decide if they want to take it out on us. We try to be there and show them something different but soon realize their demons are slowly killing us. As I come to learn a man is his mother image. A man is what his mother make him to be, he may carry out some of his father actions; but his character come from his mother. Like a woman is what her father tell her to be. Whether he speak it with his words or speak it with his actions (by not being in her life), a woman carry her father words with her everywhere she goes and in all of her relationships. That why sometimes when a man is reckless, if his mother understand his actions then no one else opinion of him even matter. Vice versa with a woman. We chose to play doctor but doesn’t stay around to fully cure that person injuries. We just add more cuts, to an already wounded soul…

My Thoughts on Love Is...

As I always say, when the love is real it not meant for anyone on the outside to understand. I always ask women “what would they do for love?” Some women answer, while some just look at me like I’m crazy. Everyone loves to claim they have a limitation on love. However, as one told me you only have limitation when you haven’t met your match. Now, before I could write this story I had to re-watch this series twice just to make sure I was understanding what I was watching. Therefore, after watching this show I got something to say and it won’t be pretty. My new addiction celebrating black love is Love Is”, which tells the origin story of a modern-day love, before social media came and destroyed well trying to destroy love for everyone. This show has become the topic of discussion more than this season of “Insecure” (I’m still waiting for that wow moment of this season). Love Is_ is set in '90s. And tells the story of two Black creatives who fall for each other quickly. Nuri works as…

What to Do When A Person Ghost You

We all knew this day was coming and now it time I write about it. This Sunday night, was the season finale of “insecure." Now, before I get to the point of the story I must share my thoughts of this whole season. I was looking for that spark this season like season one, and two, but I didn’t receive one until the end. Even the whole Daniel and Issa storyline that was a letdown. When I saw she brought back Lawrence I was hoping that finally they would work it out, but again Lawrence on that bitch ass shit. However, the relationship between Nathan and Issa was the talk on black twitter. While Issa thoughts she finally met a good guy who challenge her, Nathan proved that “the lighter the eyes, the bigger the lies.” While we have to wait until Next Year to see exactly where this relationship will go, Nathan pulled a move that was close to home for many people. It hurt like hell when a person leave you without any warning or reasons. It leave you asking yourself, “What did you do?” We…