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Aren't We or Are We?: What to Do When A Man Send Mixed Signals

As I was strolling along my social media, I saw a man asked women “how are men to blame for mixed signals?” As I was getting ready to hit him with a list of reason on how they are to blame, I saw an article that hit all on the nail and I want to give her a big up for sharing her story. The story was title “He said I’m Just a Friend” written by "the blogstress", she shared her experience of meeting a guy and everything going left. I will share the story at the bottom of my article. However, in the article she shared how she met this seemly amazing guy; they started off as just friend but he kept sending mixed signals on what he wanted which ultimately led her to cut him off. The thing is a woman doesn’t have a problem with just being friends. It the mixed signals that you men send that the problem. Claiming that we read into everything, which at time can be true. Sometimes we can overthink certain situation when the answer is very obvious. Furthermore, we’re not crazy either (well some of us are not crazy) we know when someone is flirting with us or trying to be more than friends.
First, before we get into this, I’d like to say that I don’t agree with the term “friendzone” at all. It never really made sense to me, cause in these days and time the term “friend” is another terminology for sex buddies. Yes, let be clear before you get with anyone it important to start as friends first. Therefore, if we just friends than you shouldn’t know how I look under my clothes. Trying to decipher a man’s mixed signals has become a part of every woman’s dating life. I am not a big fan of mixed signals. Most of the time, mixed signals are really simple to understand if we’re looking with our minds instead of our heart. A huge reason why men give out mixed signals is to show off and feed their ego, and show that they are still alpha males when it comes to the dating game. It crazy how one message from him can lead to a self-conversation of questioning yourself and your worth. His far too caring and loving gestures confused you further, and send you into days of overthinking every words he tells you. Every episode with him has left you thinking and maybe, over-thinking about the guy's intention. The slightest reciprocation from him can leave you feeling vulnerable. Maybe this is the reason why they say love makes the world go round. But, how long can you daydream, and analyze every conversation before you realize that you’re wasting time? 
He might be searching for his true mate to come along. The one with who he can share his most intimate thoughts, deposit his deepest secrets with. However, this ain't happening by just praying or wishing. So until then, he is out there, playing the field, screening every potential woman, essentially checking out all of his options before even consider you as an option. Thus, those mixed signals might be to gauge your reactions, to see how you fit the bill, and whether you turn out to be the keeper. Well, don't we as women do this to the men around us? Do men actually send us mixed signals when they’re afraid to tell us the truth, or a lie? Honestly, I can’t answer that question. As a woman, this is extremely hard to digest because I have based all the relationship uncertainties on the fact that guys give mixed signals. However, that is really not true. If you have to decode a guy’s signals, I think it’s pretty clear it’s time to bail. What women think is a mixed signal, is in fact a very clear message. He may like your company, like to hang out with you, even hook up with you, however he not into you enough to actually date you. When it clear that you’re just an option, then It’s up to you to move on. You don’t want to be someone’s option when you are born to be someone else’s priority. In general, guys are not expressive creatures. What they really feel comes across through their actions. Keep a close look out for those. If you see him saying something and not following through with actions, it probably means he’s not interested enough. Always remember, it’s in the very nature of a man to take the initiative if he’s genuinely interested. Rest assured he will make the move, and if he doesn’t, get the hint and try to move on. If he says he likes you, but doesn’t want to commit for whatever reason, it just means he doesn’t like you enough to be in a committed relationship with you. This sounds really harsh at the face of it; however, I have also been a victim to what we may perceive as mixed signals. I want to thank this woman for sharing her truth. Sometimes it hard to accept the truth when it right in front of us, but I would whether hear the truth than to be lie to my face.


That is All
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the link to the article


Comments

Keisha Adinkra said…
I don't think anyone likes to be lead on or deliberately or unintentional. Most men and women have likely been guilty of this at some point in their lives. This was a really nice read.
I have been married for almost 19 years but I am still the friend who gets the call to listen or give advice regarding simeone's dating situation. The topic of mixed signals always comes up. Usually if its mixed, the relationship should be nixed.
Kita said…
I have not dated since I was in my young twenties. I can't even deal with this whole mix signals thing right now. To mixed signals are a sign on lack of interest or a hidden relationship elsewhere.
My sisters are single and they are tired of dealing with mixed signals. I've not that great at advice either because I've been in the same relation for 17 almost 18 years. It's hard out here and social media has complicated things even more. Now you don't just have to deal with signals from real life you have to deal with mixed signals he may be giving in the digital world too. Urgh.
Mimicutelips said…
I think we have experienced mixed signals at least once. When I met a guy who was direct and meant what he said I did not know how to act. I had gotten so used to trying to decipher signals.
Joyce Brewer said…
When a man wants what he wants, he makes himself clear. Otherwise, he's all over the place.
Shana said…
If I’m receiving mixed messages I am usually ask and am very direct. If I’m still getting mixed messages I cut it off. Trying to figure out what someone wants take a lot of energy.
Carissa G said…
I remember when my husband and I were dating I was determined not to fall into this category of mixed signals so I made sure to be upfront with everything, and no matter if it was going to hurt me or not I had to ask the questions...so after a month of hanging out I hit him with the questions of what are we doing because I didn't want to get any closer if that's not what he had in mind!
Sheena said…
I’ve been with my husband since Jr. High. Thank goodness I didn’t have to deal with the dating game. It looks rough.
"You don’t want to be someone’s option when you are born to be someone else’s priority. " YES. I've been trying to preach this to my little sister for the past few years now and I think it's JUST starting to sink in. Aint nobody got time for men and their foolish games lol (not to say there aren't some women who do the same thing, though). Great post.
Tyra said…
I don't do the mixed singles thing. I love the line about being someone's option when you are born to be someone's priority. This is not my ministry.
Kiwi said…
Ive allowed myself to be in these situations more than once in my 20s and I have been the one to give mixed signals. I am in my 30s, I do not have the time I make it clear if you are confused stay away from me.
Yes, thank you for posting. I think people need to be more honest with their intentions instead of leading people on. It's not fair and a complete waste of time.

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