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The Top 5 Things That Turn Men Off: Part Two

Well, here I am again back with this part two. Now at first, I didn’t think that doing a follow up was a smart idea. But then I sat on it and realize that the truth hurt. For a long time, I hated the truth men would tell me. However, I realize that it wasn’t the truth I hated; it was the fact that it took a man for me to hear the truth. Why did it take a man for me to realize that these was some of the problems that kept me from being happy? As women we don’t have be perfect, but we can’t grow if we are not willing to change. Like I said earlier, when I asked this question I got more answers than I was looking for. Therefore, I knew that I had to do a part two, so we can end this topic once and for all. So, here is the part two of the top 5 things that turn men off.

Lack of Ambitious
Now, this one goes for men as well. We’re living in a time were ownership is important. Having a job where you can grow is nice but owing a business that can get passed down from generations to generations is better. Relationships are not always a walk in the park. Sometimes two people who truly love each other are up against some steep challenges. They must figure out how to continue to work together despite their differences. Specifically, one person in the relationship will lacks ambition. It doesn’t matter the gender – it can wear down to anybody. That lack of ambition can really frustrate people and bring to light some serious questions about the future of your relationship. Nobody want to be with someone that lack a vision. Even if that vision comes with you retiring at your job. The point is to see yourself in a better position than you are now. Its more to being in love than love. Relationship, and marriage is a business; and if you are going into a relationship thinking that love is enough than you’re not ready.

Can’t Cook or Clean
This was the second top answer that I receive from men. Now, when it comes down to it; I don’t like eating out all the time. As I tell women it’s a must that you know how to cook. And not just cooking, know how to keep a clean house as well. No man wants to be with a woman or even date a woman that can’t keep a clean house. Therefore, if you know your mom kept a clean house than you should know how to keep a clean house too. No one want to come in a house, that smell like someone just died. But back to my first point. I know we all are “independent women”, but that means nothing if you cannot cook. I am not talking about cooking hamburger helper or spaghetti. Damn near anybody can cook those dishes, I am talking about cooking real food; macaroni, yams, vegetables, or fry any meat without blood leaking from it. You need to be able to cook breakfast and I am not talking about a bowl of cereal. And it not about learning how to cook for a man, it a must we learned how to cook for ourselves as well. Eating out cost money, and we all can’t afford to spend over $40; or more a day on foods.

Trust Issues
When I brought up “social media obsession”, that should have cover the topic of trust. However, that just touches the surface. When it comes down to it, we all have some form of trust issues. Whether it comes from a fail relationship or poor actions on our part. Either way it goes, we all have a hard time trusting someone. However, when we have trust issues we tend to carry that issue into our new relationship. Which make it harder for us to let a man in, we tend to take what happen in the past out on someone who wasn’t even there. Then one day I realize that our trust issues come from lack of trust of self. How can we expect to trust others, when we can’t even trust ourselves? A lot of times, prematurely entering relationships leads us to bring unresolved problems from previous relationships. This gives our significant others unfair disadvantages; it hinders them from giving us their all because we never give them a chance to do so. The hurt we face and the issues into which we run without allowing for time to heal can spill into subsequent the relationships. The point is a man can’t heal what he didn’t break. And a man can’t heal what he doesn’t know need healing, so before you hop into a relationship heal your trust first.

Too friendly
Flirting with other guys, while being committed to someone, has been proven to be among the biggest turn offs for guys. Now, when I do the top things that turn women off this will be feature on the list because men do this way worse. However, women have this habit to. Now, we all have a past. Sometimes we can control it, and sometimes we can’t either way; it just as powerful as we make it out to be. Now, I’m game for some friendly flirting and some cute comments. But when it gets to the point where it’s a lack of respect to the person who you are dating, then it’s a problem. Let’s face it, flirting is fun and can make us feel good. But daydreaming, reminiscing, and looking forward to playful flirtations with one person is a sign that more is developing. Ask yourself this question, “Do you often catch yourself thinking about your flirtatious friend when they’re not near you?” If you answer, “Yes”, it’s time to reevaluate your friendship and if this is the person you truly want to be with. No man wants to see his woman being too friendly with another man.

Can’t Admit to Your Fault

It took me a long time to admit my wrongs in my failed relationships. While I didn’t do as much damage, my actions were just as poorly. We’re adults, and if you want your relationship to last. To make that happen, stop pointing fingers and take accountability for the mistakes you make with your partner. It’s a bad sign if you tend to blame instead of taking ownership for your own issues. Women who blame everyone but themselves when they wrong always believe that the problem lies with the other person. Instead of focusing on who’s in the wrong, focus on how you can resolve the problem and get back to being the happy couple you usually are. You have to take the word ‘fault’ out of the equation when you’re looking at problems in your relationship.

That is All
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The link to part one is at the bottom


Sheena Steward said…
Hopefully your advice helps some ladies out there looking for answers. I need to find part one.
Are you from Memphis? I’m from Memphis? I hate these kinda post because they are always around what women need to do better and what men want, hoe to keep a man happy but nobody is teaching men how to treat women or there is not the pressure for men to learn how to be a good mate
Stacie Says said…
I guess it depends on the man. I didn't know how to cook at first and my hubby was fine with it. But I did try to learn how to make certain things.
Leslie H. said…
It definitely depends on the man. I'd like to believe there is someone for everyone. A woman could be all those things above and some men would accept her with these perceived flaws and all.
Monique Tillman said…
I would say it depends on the man, but some of these tips women should do for self not a man. Somethings were taught to me growing up like cooking and cleaning. I dont cook and clean for you. I cook and clean for myself. My ambitious came from wanting to be better than my surrounding and how I grew up. I'm un therapy for trust issues, lol.
Kita said…
I suppose some of these tips are necessary but I need more focus to be on men and what they need to do to make women happy. Women tend to be the ones that have to change, adjust and be all the things.
Maybe single life is better. LOL
Def some honesty here and some things that are a matter of perspective. Thought provoking post!
I think for some women trying to become perfect to check off lists like these will keep a woman single. To me, you can hire someone to cook and clean, you just need to have your money right to do that without stress on your finances and all will be cool. Also trust is a big one for me that you really can't compromise on. Overall very solid advice.
Jay Colby said…
Great post. All five things could be a turn off for anyone, because these are basic qualities most people want in a partner.
Kiwi said…
This info on what men dont like I think should be called what people dont like. I dont like any of these traits in a man either - I want my man to cook and clean too I wont be my husbands maid.
Did you do a survey on social media? Were these the responses of the men that answered. I think everything is subjective when it comes to what works in relationships or what turns them off. Base turn offs according to your significant other and not the majority.

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