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Shoot your Shot Summer '18

Well as you know we’re heading into the spring time. Which mean for Memphis, we're heading straight into summer. After the “cuffin” season we had, this summer is most needed for women. We dealt with some low down dogs this season. However, we made it even when some women were ready to change teams. Furthermore, as we head into the summer season ladies please understand that the ball is in our court now. We no longer have to wait for a man to step up, and make a move. We can now shoot our shot to the man we actually desire. I can already see some women head turning like “is she serious?”. Yes, I’m very serious why wait for a man to make a move when we can step up to the plate. Sitting as a fly on the wall is so played out. Why sit, and watch our crush to walk across the room when we can get up; and walk to him. Why wait for him when we can make the first move? Honestly waiting for a man to come up to you is just so blah to me. How we’re now living in a world of so called “female empowerment”, and we still looking for a man to come up and speak first.
According to an informal survey conducted by the dating site “OkCupid”, that way of thinking is so antiquated and doesn't exactly yield desirable results: “Women who reach out first have a better chance of success." In fact, those women who initiate contact are 2.5 times more likely to get favorable responses than men who make the first move, and those replies will spark more conversations with men we actually want to talk to. Some men are just like you, they're waiting for you to walk over like you're waiting for him to walk pass you. Like many women, I'm VERY selective about the men I entertain and allow in my personal space, so when I actually step to a guy, I have to be really intrigued by him for me to make the first move. I’m still like you. My initial thought in a world where we can now swipe left and right into a relationship, making the first move seems more reasonable. But how does that information translate to real life? Will a man find this behavior too aggressive? Emasculating? Or worse desperate? Cause I’ve been called “aggressive” by men when I made the first move. But I also had men who was happy that I made the first move because they didn’t know how to “approach” me. The point is you'll never know until you actually try.
 I've always been told that you not supposed to chase no man. But I came to a realization in some shape or form we always end up chasing someone. I was usually one of those women who was post up enjoying happy hour, avoiding any eye contact, delivering a mean blank stare, daring any man to approach me. That when I realize that while some men love to date the “bitchy” women they still like to figure that out later than to figure it out first hand (keyword some men). I’m not saying that I’m a bitch, anyone who knows me know that I’m far from a bitch. What I’m saying in general sitting across the room while you’re looking crazy, and thinking a man will across you like that is blasphemy. The whole man-is-the-hunter and the woman-is-the-prey mindset is outdated. Therefore, why should the man bear all the pressure of potential rejection since, after all, he's more likely to get shut down much faster than women anyway. If we're equal, so grown, and are natural go-getter's in nearly every other aspect of our lives, why are we so against making that first step when it comes to dating.

Like I said earlier, this past season was hard on some women (I got the emails to prove it). We deserve to play this season; we deserve a moment of catch up. We gave our heart to men that just didn’t give a damn about our feelings or the affect their games had on our emotion's. Men think because we’re ready for commitment that we don’t fear falling in love just like them. We fear giving our heart to the wrong man, just like you fear giving your heart to the wrong woman. Love scare us all but it's still not a reason to play games with someone emotions, like their emotions isn’t real. People love to play with fire until that blaze come up and burn their ass too. If anyone knows me then they know that I’m lover at heart, I’m pro relationship. I will tell anyone if you’re in a relationship then be happy, or try to make the relationship work. But in order to give your best to any man or any woman you have to give the best to yourself first. Sometime focusing on you, and dating around will prepare you for a relationship. Sometimes a moment of fun will lead you to whom your heart desire. Therefore, when that moment happen make that move. Don’t wait for him when the ball is in your court. I know how the game was made, but the game has change. If we want that magical moment that our parents, or grandparents had then we got to step up. Maybe some women will change it up this summer, or maybe some women will still wait for a man to lead but remember the ball is always in your court…
That is All
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Comments

Sharice said…
I am not sure if I am ready to do the approaching but I admire those who do. I am looking forward to a great summer with my boo and wishing all the women out here a summer to remember. Loved this post. I am
Kim S. said…
I am so happy I do not have to worry about dating. It seems so tough these days. I know I am not the type to approach anyone, but I get it. Go after what you want or what you think you want at the moment because you never know.
Olena said…
So glad I am engaged because I Hated being single. Sifting through truths and lies is no fun at all! Anyway times have definitely changed. I think it's ok to take the first step in a way that you individually feel comfortable doing. As women we have so much power, but there are still some women that don't realize it yet and that's sad. I am all for women's empowerment. Happy Women's History Month and Thanks for sharing!
Carissa G said…
I must admit I am glad I am no longer on the dating scene. I let a couple of friends talk me into approaching a couple guys in my past and it never worked out, which is a good thing now that I look back on it but I waited and the right one approached me. But that's just my story I have heard success stories from it. Good Luck Ladies!!!
Monique Ruffin said…
Lmao, For memphis means going to summer. I'm in Nashville so I understand that statememt. I have always been bold. I have no problem with approaching men, but I understand someone do. I haven't been in cuffing season for a while, but my single friend keep me informed about the men during cuffing season.
Mimicutelips said…
I am in total agreement with you. To go a step further for those of us in a relationship we need to do the same. The men shouldn’t have to do it all. Blow his mind and shoot your shot. I’m in the DC area and we are getting snow tonight.
EG III said…
I appreciate when a woman takes charge and initiates that first move. Not emasculating at all but a sign that she knows what she wants....with that said though, the woman also has to know when it's time to back down and take the hint that a guy is just not interested.
Kiwi said…
Im single too but it is sad how the dating game is in 2018. Really sad...I dont think women have to be the ones shooting their shots so hard to get attention, the men need to do better honestly!
Kasi said…
I love the whole concept behind "Shoot your shot!"! I'm more traditional though, I tend to let guys approach me first (be it in person or on social media) and then I decide if I'm interested or not.
Toiia Rukuni said…
I really appreciate hearing about new things happening on the dating scene. I think that marriage is difficult, dating is hard, and meeting a person for the first time can be awkward and a little bit intimidating, so shooting the first shot is ok, and will build confidence in self too!

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