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When A Man Have Commitment Cold Feet...

It’s 3:30 am and you get that text “what you doing?”, by now you’re used to getting this text at this time of night but tonight feels different. Right now, you're thinking about the pros and cons of laying down with him again. When you first met him, you felt like you hit the lottery. Finally, after years of dating the worse of the worse he walks into your life. You still remember the first time you met him, his game was different he didn’t come to you like every other man, he came to you how a man should approach a woman. He made you feel like the search was over and you’ve finally met Mr. Right after years of pain; and heart ache. He was the first voice you heard in the morning, and the last voice you heard at night. He made you feel like a queen, and cater to your every need. But as you’re building this bond with him, cutting off other men and putting your all into building a future with him, then he tells you that he’s not ready for a serious relationship. He shares with you how after his last relationship it made it harder for him to trust another woman (the common story with many men which play a role at time). He opens up how he put his all into his last relationship, and his “EX” didn’t appreciate the man that he was. When he shares his "fears" with you it made you fall even harder for him, he bares his soul to you which made you feel like what he’s feeling is temporary and you will be different from his last girlfriend. But men don’t always mean what they say. Looks can be deceiving, and so can words. But sometimes, a man means exactly what he says. Now, it nothing wrong with a man wanting to take time on getting into a relationship. After all, no one want to be with a man that has a shitload of trust issue. Sometimes it’s best to import patience when it come to love. Look, no one wants to wait forever but I guarantee you that if you rush love you’re the only one who will pay the price.
But as I come to learn it’s a thin line between patience, and complete bullshit. "I’ll just show him that I’m different from his last chick” women tend to think this in response to any anti-relationship claim from men. The thing is when a man tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship then you better listen cause It’s a complete waste of time to pursue a man who leads with a warning about his relationship hesitation if what you’re after is indeed a real relationship. If he says he doesn’t want to date you seriously and you’re looking for a significant other, you better move on. The only relationship you will get out of him will be just a physically relationship. Don’t view his unwillingness to settle down as a challenge or an opportunity to show him how great you are, or how much you can love him better than any other woman or that you’re different from every other woman he’s used to dealing with. Don’t fixate on anyone who declares that he’s not a romantic option for you from the start. Don’t convince yourself that if you can’t have this one guy, you’d rather not have anyone at all. Foolish conclusions will poison your heart and poison your outlook on men. When a man tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship, please trust that that’s the case.
I don’t have to tell you what happens when you decide to chase a man who states upfront that he’s relationship wary. He will take as much as he can from you before moving onto his new woman. Some men lead with “I don’t want a relationship” primarily to test the waters to see how far they can get with a woman to go without making any real commitment the woman at all. They want to challenge your standards, and morals to see what you’re willing to do in order to be with him AKA the late-night phone calls seeing if he can come over or having sex in random places. It’s a dating Jedi mind trick. A game that men will play on women who’re looking for their soul mate instead of waiting for right man to walk into their lives. You have to asked yourself, "Do you actually want a relationship with this guy?." Or do you just want to prove him wrong, and show him that the two of you would be great together? When your emotions are at a high, it can be hard to discern your exact motivations for wanting to be with that person. For wanting to be with a man that treat you like an afterthought. While your heart is telling you that he’s the one, your mind telling you a whole nother story. The point is you have to asked yourself what’s it about him that you MAKE you want to be with him. Is it the trill of the chase, or do you really see yourself with him? And let say that you do catch this man, will your feeling still be the same for him after you catch him?

One of the hardest challenges I've ever faced in a relationship was falling in love with someone who was terrified to commit. I can admit that I am a bit of a hopeless romantic when it comes to relationships, and I'm very passionate woman (it’s the Scorpio in me) when it comes to love, so when I fall in love, I fall hard. I’ll fight for my love, and I will give my all to him (If he’s the right man). I learn that when a relationship is going well, it can be hard for you to understand that maybe he isn't ready to fully commit. That doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love you or wants to break up; it just means that he needs more time to adjust to the idea of “settling down. I also learned that you can’t blame yourself either. You just try to respect your partner's desire for a little bit of more time. Remember, good things take time, and if it comes easy, then it's probably not worth having (most of the time). However, even if you do find yourself still wanting a relationship with him after he’s told you he isn’t looking for a serious commitment, just know that making yourself 100% available to him won’t change his mind. “A woman can waste time putting her effort into seeing if the guy will be in a relationship with you” after waiting too long. Sure, the guy may keep you around because he really enjoys your company, but hanging around hoping he will change his mind won’t get him to change his mind. He made his mind up from the very beginning, and when you overstayed your welcome it will make it much easier for him to reject you in the end. Eventually those 3am texts get old, and you will stop stay dreaming of that relationship with him and you finally see that this isn’t going nowhere just another few hours of passion then he goes off into the night like what just happen didn’t even happen. Who wants to be with someone who like you just enough to keep you hanging around in this dating limbo with no chance of an actual real future with them? We all deserve to be more than to be someone's back burner………But as I away say what do I know I’m just here to drop some knowledge on my journey of self.
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