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Should I Stay or Should I Go?: What Happen When You Outgrow A Relationship

When I think of love I look at it as it’s bringing out the best in you. Pushing you to your best, challenging you to go to levels that’s profound. However, what happen when you outgrow that person who once brought the best out of you? That person who push you, to boundaries that you weren’t able to push yourself. I always wonder how love can just die. How can you go from being in love one day, too enemies the next? When you’ve been part of a “we” for a long time… perhaps too long. Though you don’t like to acknowledge it (even to yourself), the two of you don’t fit together as well as you once had. You have pursued other interests, that had personally transform your life, and… well, he’s basically continued the same as he always has. While you wouldn’t have chosen the distance that you feel, but you do feel it. So, now what?


 When I first heard the ending of this couple I was shocked. They seem so private to me, and I didn’t really see any images of the pair floating around like that. However, once I heard both interviews it shows no matter how many years you be with someone you never know how a person truly feel about you until it all over. Juju and Cam’ron met in 2002, and began dating a few years later. They broke up six months ago after being together for nine years. During that time, Cam helped Juju launch her career as an actress, business owner, model, and realtor. She cites both of their growth as the main reason for their breakup. “I’m sorry I can’t be the 2009 Juju,” she said. “This thing called life is about elevating and growing and if that makes me not fun I’m okay with that.” Sometimes two people do not grow at the same rate; sometimes things simply do not attach the way they used to because the parts of them that used to connect are no longer the same size. Sometimes as people stay together, they start to realize what they need, and what they cannot live without.

Outgrowing a relationship is like trying to make everything familiar to a stranger. It’s taking everything you know and subjecting yourself to everything you know nothing about. It feels ridiculous to leave something that has nothing seriously wrong with it. It almost makes you wonder if you should stay just because it’s not killing you in ways you’ve seen before. Movement is the train that gives you a tour of the sunlight you would never see if you didn’t show up for your departure. It takes the willingness to travel to reach our destination, and it takes knowing that amending our environment or ourselves is sometimes the only way to get us there. Growth has no limits. There is no way to precisely plan the outcome of anything because our surroundings are always changing. We can never accurately assume how much something is going to sprout; all we can do it nourish it in the meantime. When you realize you’ve outgrown a person you asked yourself why? This person was once your best friend, and now you feel like you don’t even know this person anymore. No one want to stay on the same level. Elevation is the key of becoming this person that’s lock down inside of you. Sometimes we run from it, or we have someone that hold us back from becoming our best. Love should never feel like an interruption, and when it starts to feel that way then it's no point in staying with a unhealthy love just because of the years; or time that’s spent with that person. Once a person stops bringing out the best in you and bring out the toxic side of you then it time to leave before that love cause damage that no one can fix not even you.


We all want to believe our relationships will never end. Realistically, not every partnership is built to last — and sometimes the reason why is because we don't grow with our significant other the way we anticipated. It's human nature to change and develop, and our own personal growth won't always match up with our partner's. "If you feel ashamed to bring your partner around certain people in your life because of the way they act, then it’s possible you’re outgrowing the relationship and don’t even realize it." As Lorde once sang, "When you've outgrown a lover, the whole world knows but you." Outgrowing a relationship can be hard to accept since there usually isn't some specific problem to blame why you feel this way. But even though it's hard to accept that a relationship might be past its prime, you don't have to be the last to know unless if you not ready to face the truth. Letting go of a love is growth. Letting them go, so they can find their true happiness will lead you to your true happiness. When people enter our lives, we don’t know the true reason until the story ended. Sometimes that story can last a lifetime, or it can last for one season. But what do I know, I’m just here to share my thoughts while on my journey of self- love and happiness.

                                                                     That Is All 
                                                              Images By Google

Comments

Anonymous said…
I think for me, the moment I truly start questioning whether I should stay or go, I know I should leave. I'm the type of person who will fight for something and doesn't immediately look for a way out when things go wrong, so if I'm questioning it, I trust that and know that the time is up. I had that feeling in my last relationship and it was difficult to end it after six years. It took something drastic happening to finally end it.
MrsTee said…
I truly believe you can outgrow relationships both as a couple and simply as friends. There are times when certain people are in your life for reasons - reasons that can change or no longer be needed. I think this is when understanding that every relationship isn't forever is so key.
Mimicutelips said…
This was my story at 22, I started dating my ex at 16 years old. We got married when I was 18 and by 22 I had outgrown him. In the beginning we were growing together although he was much older. Then he seem like I was the only one with dreams. Couple with a few other things it was best that I walked away. So I did. No anger or hard feelings but the marriage was no longer working.
Kayvona Branson said…
I feel like it’s probably pretty normal for every relationship to have some doubt at times cause nothing is perfect, it’s how you decide to handle things that makes the choice. I know people who made the choice to leave and after sometime got back together and are great now and have been for years. In my own experience with a long term relationship I decided to leave before actually going through with it because of the type of relationship it was the leaving had to be planned out but I eventually was able to leave, I definitley had times where I thought about staying but once the final string was cut I knew it was time to go.
Jay Colby said…
Outgrowing a relationships happens often especially when we're still finding our purpose in life, because as our purpose in life changes we change. Causing us to sometimes outgrow relationships.
Kasi said…
Yes, I do believe that you can sometimes outgrow relationships, essentially growing apart. I was surprised to hear about JuJu and Cam's breakup as well! LAHH is my guilty pleasure, but I love how classy JuJu is, she'll find the right one soon enough.
Ola said…
There are certainly times when a relationship reaches its limits, such as when people marry too young, or when teenage besties grow in different directions.
Courtney CJ said…
Thank you for stating who the couple was because I was staring at the picture desperately trying to figure it out, lol. I think that people are always meant to grow and different stages of life lead to that. However if values are not aligned during growth, then we need to reconsider.
This is hard! I often hear about couples being married for 25 years and then divorcing, I guess they out grew each other. I think when you are dating, you can outgrow each and split. When it comes to marriage, even if you outgrow each other you are supposed to remain together provided there is no abuse or other circumstances. I didn't know about Juju or Cam before the show so I was not privy to there relationship.

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