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Can Men & Women Just Be Friends?

At first, I didn’t understand the big deal until I saw it with my own eyes. Men would tell me that I had to choose between my best friend, or him and I would always choose my best friend. No one has my back like my two male best friends. Through all the hell that life have thrown at me, my best friends been there to wipe my tears. I used to say that women were so insecure to have a problem with me, cause I’m the last person you should’ve worried about when you're dating my best friend. It wasn’t until I dated a man with a female best friend then I saw the problem. Don’t you just hate that shit? It wasn’t that I had a problem with him having a woman as his best friend, hello that would make me a huge walking hypocrite. It was the simple fact that she didn’t respect me, and he didn’t care if she did respect me. 
The thing about these types of friendship that you must build boundaries. As one woman put it, when we develop a sexual attraction to someone we’re involved with socially or with whom we are in frequent proximity with, we are left to decide whether to act on our feelings or just put what we feel aside. These levels of attraction do affect the guy-girl friendship bond dynamically. Which is why women quick to call “bullshit” on these types of friendship. Therefore, we live in time now where no one have boundaries anymore. We act on our feelings, and not on our logic which put us in a fuck up situation. As I always say if you wanted more then you would’ve act on it before the other party came into the picture. Fuck that whole “I didn’t want to destroy our friendship” line if you didn’t want to “destroy” your friendship, then why you so quick to destroy your friendship now that they're with someone? And why would you wait until he/she, is in a relationship to share how you feel? I’m a true believer that some people just hate to see someone else happy, other than themselves at time especially in your inner circle. You sat there the whole time and not once shared how you felt. You've known this person longer than their spouse, and now that they are in a relationship with someone you have feeling for them. I’m sorry but that’s complete and utter BULLSHIT!!!!


For most of my life, I've been a woman that could hang with a group of men with no problem. I don't mean that in "I don't get along with other women because I am way too sexy" kind of way — cause some of my friends do happen to be women. But for whatever reason, I've typically also had more close male friends than women friends. When you're a woman with a male best friend, people think that you're up to something. They can't quite agree on what it is — are you trying to get laid? Trying to inflate your ego by being the "cool girl"? Trying to do both at the same time? And even if all that judgment doesn't bother you personally, you still must deal with the weird hang-ups of your other friends, and your family. And yes, sometimes, male BFFs do end up becoming something more. But often, they don't. And no matter what happens, women with male best friends aren't always pulling sexual con. I'm not saying we deserve a medal for dealing with the pressure of everyone's suspicions and still managing to maintain a great friendship in the process, but ... okay, maybe I'm saying that.

Being friends with the opposite sex isn’t impossible. But, because of pure human nature, there are ingrained thoughts, and impulses within that can make male-female friendships often confusing. Which I still can’t understand, I slept in the same bed with my male best friend and nothing happen not even spooning. Nonetheless yes, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t think about hooking up with one of my male best friend. However, I actually loved our friendships so much that I opted out of crossing that water. Because once you cross that water in your friendship it won’t be the same. Sleeping with your best friend could very well make your friendship stronger, but it can also destroy it in the process. Can men and women really be “just friends”? It’s an age-old question. But no matter where you fall in the debate, the reality is that many of us do have more opposite-sex friends. While it’s wise to take a step away from friendships that pose a clear threat to your current romantic relationship, what should we do about all the other opposite-sex friends we have—especially if there was never a romantic history between you? That answer well I will know one of these days, but the point of it all is time wait for no one. If you have feelings, for your best friend take that shot. Stop wondering those “what if” and take that chance. If you know that you have feeling for your best friend, then go for it. Don’t wait until they fall in love to share your feelings. Cause if they so amazing as a friend, just wait until someone spot them and see them as more. However, your shot is now so speak now or forever hold your peace.

That Is All
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Comments

Yes I have had males friends most of my life. The key is truly loving this person as a friend. If you do that, you would rather maintain the friendship and ensure that person will remain in your life versus dating and risk loosing him or her. I guess it just depends on where the heart is.

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