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The Pro's & Con's Of A Happy Relationship

Someone told me that I always write about the negative side of love and not the positive. which isn’t true. I write about both ends of love but I can see how someone can feel that way when you 10 stories behind. Love is a beautiful gift, however even when it good there are still some bad even in a good relationship. No, I’m not one of those women who can’t be happy no matter how hard a man or anyone tried. It just when sh*t is good in your relationship your focus shift from the other priorities in your life. Therefore, it causes some area in your life to rust so to speak. It happened to the best of us hello it happen to Beyoncé. Some will look at this list, and be like Judaea you're crazy. However, these are signs you need to know for two reasons. One: So, you know when to slow down and enjoy your new peace and happiness. And two: So, you can also get your focus back on track to get your life in order so you don’t lose yourself or your relationship. Furthermore, no matter how much you can love a person in the end you the only person that truly has your back. So, here are the signs that you’re in a good relationship.

Your family and friends give the relationship their stamp of approval.
Despite you telling yourself that your family and friends opinion doesn’t matter deep down inside, your family’s approval of your spouse does matter. Their support can be invaluable as the relationship continue to build. We know that when couples who have parents, in-laws, and friends who support them as a couple are much more likely to go the distance. However, you have to know when to keep your families and friends out of your relationship. Yes, these people love you but once they’re too involved it will destroy the relationship. Especially when you share too much. The more you share, the more they will try to be more involved in your relationship which will cause problems in your relationship to the point you two can break up. So, share your new love with your family. But be careful with how much you share.

You Gain Weight
Like I said love is a beautiful gift. It can fill your body with so much joy. But it can also put 40 to 50 pounds on you as well. The most disrespectful comment a man can say to you when you’re in a relationship is “I love you no matter what size you are”. That statement alone is complete bullshit. When you fall in love you supposed to get comfortable. The foods you normally wouldn’t eat before you got in a relationship become your everyday go-to. Therefore, every time you two go out now you will pick the restaurant before you pick out the activity. When a man tells you this statement, he didn’t mean for you to get comfortable and put on 40lb like he wouldn’t notice. He just wanted you to feel comfortable with your body. He wanted you to see yourself like he see you (which is the size you were when he got with you). While a man supposed to love you no matter what, that doesn’t mean he supposed to watch you put your health at risk. Just because the chase is over, doesn’t mean the race has ended. So, before you order those wings with that double cheeseburger think twice. Because the same man who told that bullshit, is liking half naked pictures of women while you’re sleeping.

You are willing to put the we before me
A commitment to doing what is best for the relationship,rather than what is best for the individual partner. When you’re dating you should always look for a spouse who talks and thinks in terms of ‘we’ and not ‘me’. “Someone who articulates shared dreams, shared values, and a willingness to put the relationship above his or her desires. Being on the same page make the progress of being in a relationship much easier. However, just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you are that someone. You are intent on keeping your own identity and your own life. Just because you're technically a "we" now doesn't mean you don't identify as an "I. the whole point of being in a relationship is completing to find that person you’re becoming. When you lose yourself in the relationship you no longer capable of loving your spouse. Which turn you into a selfish person, which build problems in the relationship think about it.

Those Small Gestures of Love 
It’s nothing like a man showing you how he feels. Not having to guess what on his mind when he thinks about you, or wondering if he feels the same as you. Sure, sometimes big gestures are good for relationships, such as nice pieces of jewelry and surprise trips away. However, the most intimate gestures, the ones that really keep a healthy relationship going, are the small but meaningful ones. Like when he remembers to put air in your tire, and when he goes put gas in your car. And when you make his favorite meal and you have his bath ready for him. Or you go out and stand in line to get his favorite video game. Those are signs of love for each other. As a woman, I learn that a man won’t tell you how he feels all the time but he will show you how he feels. Sometimes as women we get so caught up in the words, that we forget about the actions that need to be put behind those words. Furthermore, as I warned many couples don’t get to comfortable to the point where you forget to show each other your appreciation. It doesn’t have to be a gift to show how you feel. But your mate still need to know even after years of being together that you still love them and feel the same way as you did when you first met them. 

You Trust Each Other
Trust. Is. Huge in any relationship. Without trust, there cannot be any of the other positive elements that bring a great relationship together. Knowing that you don’t have to worried every time they leave your present build a comfort moving forward. My first test of trust came earlier this year and knowing that I could unconditionally trust him change my whole outlook on love and him altogether. It made me feel comfortable to share what was on my mind, and share my feelings with him. However, If you don’t trust the person you’re with then you can’t be comfortable in the relationship moving forward. Without trust you won’t trust them going out, or spending time with friends, it can be as bad to the point where you don’t trust them while they at work. It will eat away at the foundation of your relationship like termites, until it eventually crumbles.

That Is All
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