Let talk love and money. Lately I’m been trying my hardest to stay away from social media. I’ve notice as I gotten older, social media doesn’t has it lust like it used to for me. Everyone using it to show off this fake life just to avoid their real life. However, what ran me away from social media lately is the false image of the perfect relationship. Which bring me to this story. Money is problematic enough when you're single and alone and trying to make do without looking for a hand out from your family, but throw another person into the equation and sh*t start to get very real . Money, despite what any of us wants to believe about "love conquer all", really matters when you're in a relationship. I'm not just talking about letting someone pay for dinner on a date; We all know that as women that we don’t need a man to take care of us (even though it feels great when a man does), it's nice to be treated to a nice night out by someone else from time-to-time, however, you're kidding yourself if you think that's the extent of how money will factor into your relationship. Love might, indeed, conquer all, but love still needs a roof over its head and you can’t love anyone while you both wondering where the next meal is coming from. Therefore, whether you want to or not you can’t run from that awkward conversations about you guys finances. Despite what is shown on social media every day, real life will hit you eventually. Avoiding the truth behind the merging of yours finances will killed the relationship before it can begin.
Money matters because of the expectations that come with it, and because of the way it dictates not only what you can do with your life, but what your limitations are as a couple. And if you ever decide to join financial forces, sometimes individual wants are subsumed by what's best for both of you. So naturally, having an open dialogue about money is crucial to not letting financial issues blow up in your relationship. When you're in a serious relationship with someone, it's not unusual for most of your money to become "group money". No, this doesn't always happen; Some couples go through their relationships and even marriages with near complete financial independence, which is great if that's what you want. But for so many couples, money becomes a more vaguely joint effort as the relationship moves forward. Relationships should always be equal, and that means different things to different people. Some people think "equal" means a total 50/50 split in finances, but often that's not always realistic in a relationship. What if both parties don't make the same amount of money? Why should they feel forced to split things evenly, if it doesn't make sense for them, and they're comfortable coming up with another arrangement? Money can become important when one party can't keep up with the other financially but is still expected to. Knowing exactly what both partners are expected to contribute to a relationship is important to clarify from the beginning, so no one ends up feeling exploited because they are doing more than the other.
Knowing how much money your partner makes is important. It just is hate to say it. I'm not saying you have to start asking for bank statements on a second date, but if you've been together for a while, and plan to stay together, or if you're planning to move in together, you don't want to come home to a "Surprise! The lights are cut off" because they couldn’t pay the bill. It's more than fine to support your partner in trying times from time to time (if this is a committed relationship we ain’t helping if we don’t have a title on our relationship), and have them do the same for you, but you don't want to wake up one day to someone simply expecting you to carry them the whole time in the relationship. You want to know that while your partner might not always be in a comfortable financial situation, their goal is to be able to save and invest, and not to ride on your coattails like some lazy ass bum. And yes, as I mentioned before, there might be times when you need to unexpectedly support the other person in your relationship. shit happen—people lose jobs, big bills need to be suddenly paid—and in these moments, you'll learn that your relationship is a financial partnership as much as a romantic and emotional one. You need to understand that when it comes to money, if you're in a serious relationship, you're in this together. Their hard times are your hard times now, and vice versa.
Relationships (or even finding the right person to have a relationship with) can be so damn complicated. To make it work, you must have something in common, you need to be able to communicate, and there must be some special chemistry going on that no one can understand. Oh, and of course you both have to consider both credit score, savings and how the both of you handles money, right? It not romantic, but when it comes to relationships, money matters. It might even matter more than just about anything else. Case in point: It was shown that people were more likely to forgive a cheating spouse than they were to get over money problems in their relationship. And the top reason for divorce? Money. The topic of money will always be touchy, but it a discussion that need to happen. You going to want to buy a house one day, and want to have more than four figures in your bank account that you only have when you get paid. Maybe some people can be happy in a broke relationship, I need more than what meet the eye. I’m not expensive however I’m not cheap either. Before you go deeper you must have that talk, or you be left looking like a fool.
That Is All
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