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Why We Should Stop Blaming Tasha For The Demise Of Lawrence & Issa Relationship

This journey that I’m currently on is a long one but I whether be on a long journey than be in another relationship where I’m left looking for answers. I have to keep reminding myself that I deserve the best even when I feel like I don’t. I know now that I deserve a man that will love me with all his heart, and will give me all of him. As I gotten older I realize that I shouldn’t rush love or commitment because it takes time. Now, I'm at a point where I know that I want to be with someone who is committed to building a lasting friendship first then build a lasting relationship afterward. Cause if he can commit to building a friendship that will last, then he can commit to being in a serious relationship. Like someone once told me a relationship is like clay if you take your time than you can mold it into something beautiful. However, this story isn’t about rushing into a relationship or anything in that manner I’m writing about fuck boys & Tasha from 'Insecure'. Had to dress it up before I went in, that’s what good writers do. Women tell me all the times how men “hide” their true colors, and they don't find out the truth until it's too late. Which in some cases very true, but it’s hard for me to believe simply because I saw warning signs all the time in my failed relationships but chose to ignore them. it was a light going off in the back of my mind where I knew it wasn’t going to work or he not the man he is painting himself out to be. Moreover, I kept quiet and stayed until he fucks me over. Women loved to play the role as victims at time, and there is time when women fall victims of a man that screw them over and used them. But as I grew to learn when you start to complain about this guy every day then you have no one to blame but yourself for the ending of the story (cause that the first sign that he's a f*ck Ni**a).

It could’ve been so easy for the “Insecure” to paint Tasha as the reason for the demise of Lawrence and Issa's troubled relationship (because I did try to blame her for the whole fallout of their relationship like Issa didn’t cheat on Lawrence and they didn't already have problems), painting her as this opportunistic, scheming side-chick who was going to get hers by any means. Cause Every time she hung out with Lawrence on her lunch break she should’ve eaten somewhere, or when he came into that credit union to cash his unemployment check she didn’t have to be so buddy- buddy with him. I tried to look for every reason to blame her instead of Lawrence and his fuck Ni**as tendencies. Sad part is in real life many “Insecure” fans seem to view her as this home wrecker and can’t separate the show from real life. Just recently, the actress who plays Tasha, Dominique Perry, told Essence that she has gotten a ton of hate mail since the show’s first season, even having one woman reveal to her that she wanted to fight her. But Tasha was never a shady man-stealer, after watching last week show I realize that Tasha didn’t do anything wrong. She didn’t call Lawrence up that night looking for sex when they first hook up, even when she knew that Lawrence wasn’t happy she still respected the relationship even when it had been suggested that she had a little crush on Lawrence and she was very supported of Lawrence dreams of being his own boss. But I want men to understand this on that note: A woman has no problems staying with you while you’re building your dollar and a dream hell if you let us we’ll help you build that dream and stand by you even if it that dream falls apart. But what a woman can’t tolerate is a man who has a plan but put no actions into making that plan happen. All Lawrence had to do was show actions that he was serious about his dreams of building an app, and maybe Issa would’ve handle everything differently. Men don’t understand how it’s hard for a woman to stand by a man and his dreams. Furthermore, when we see the hunger in your eyes and the actions you’re taking to make it happen then we will stand by you and help you make this dream a reality.


However, after last week episode, Tasha is now my favorite character. She stood up for herself in a way I wish Issa did. Look, ladies I know we loved to blame Lawrence for what happen in their relationship and he's to blame... to an extent. But continuing to say if he didn’t forget Issa birthday, or if he wasn’t lazy then Issa would’ve not cheated is not a good reason to justify her cheating. It goes deeper than that and if that the only reason you can come up with to justify why a woman cheats on her spouse, then you need to reevaluate your outlook on relationships (if you can’t tell by now I’m attacking both parties). As Tasha eloquently put it, coming from a rightfully hurt emotional state of mind: Lawrence is a “fuck nigga who thinks he’s a good dude.” Lawrence is the Drake of fuck niggas. Remember when Daniel said that every college girl love “Drake”, and Issa said that Drake “gets us” that what Lawrence is to so many women these days that are willing to put up with Lawrence like behavior in relationships. Because it beat being alone not realizing that you’re being an enabler in your own relationship. At first, it was unclear to me whether Tasha was aware that Lawrence was with Issa (he went on to mention her later), but it was very obvious that there was a spark between the two of them that no longer existed between him and Issa. When he was at a low point looking for a job that matches his level of education, Tasha showered him with compliments, saying the right things he needed to hear for his fragile ego. He desperately needed to hear those words that understandably frustrated Issa, who was fed up with his unemployment, couldn’t say anymore. “You’ve got a lot going for you,” she told him once before. “You’re out here trying to make something of yourself, right? And with no kids? Better keep your head up.”

When a black man is at a low point in his life knowing that a black woman is standing in his corner means the world to him. Considering there are moments when you feel like you in this war alone, but knowing that a woman has your back it lifts you up and that what Lawrence needed while Tasha is not realizing she was petting a dog with fleas. However, it’s an all too familiar set up: in comparison with bougie black women who went to prestigious colleges and/or are on a fast-moving career track—with women, like Issa and Molly. It’s easy for them to look at women like Tasha and judge her as basic because of her body and /or career choice. Of course, Lawrence would be interested in her, because if you let us tell it her expectations are so low for herself and he’s lazy and stuck in a rut and all she has to do is butter him up to think he’s a good man, thoughts that we will steer this in our minds. But in a later episode, it became clear that even if Tasha wasn't attending haute art gallery events or getting boozed up at hip young day parties, she was a woman who had got her shit very much together. And she was too good for Lawrence half ass commitment if Lawrence was upfront from the get go then all of that could have been avoided. Men don’t understand what makes them a fuck boy, while there are numbers of reasons and actions that make them a fuck boy. Not telling the truth about your true intentions from the get-go just to keep the image of a “good dude” is what make you the ultimate fuck boy. You’re not worried about her feelings you worry about yourself, the reason being you don’t want to be the bad guy. Furthermore, avoiding telling the truth make you a bad guy AKA a fuck boy.

We were so quick to judge Tasha, not realizing how she was candid about what she wanted, and what she was looking for. She wasn’t pushy or manipulative to get what she wants she laid her cards out there. Yes, she shows up at his job at Best Buy to see if he wanted to grab some food after work, flashing those impossible-to-ignore breasts of hers, but when he reminded her that he has a girlfriend at the time, she backs off immediately embarrassed by her actions (which most women wouldn’t even do these days they would have still shoot their shot). But in the end, she was innocent in it all, to be honest. I think she saw good in him (which is what we all look for in a man even when we know he doesn’t have any good in him) … she just wanted to let him know that, 'This break-up is a phase that you're going through in life and you’re a great man. And I would love to walk this walk with you if you'll have me’. However, as we saw he didn’t want her to take that walk with him. And when a woman overstays her welcome in a relationship that what makes her a fuck girl (let me explain). All you’re doing is painting a bitter outlook on men by staying with a man that doesn’t want to be with you, and how he treats you; will now build a hate inside of you for men simply because you tried to make a situation that you knew that wouldn’t work, works. As Tasha quoted “I knew it wasn’t nothing serious. But then you fronted like it was, apologizing for shit you wasn’t even sorry for.” And while it’d be sad to see the most clear-eyed character on the show disappear after months and weeks I spent dogging her, it’s very empowering to know that Tasha stood her ground and didn’t waste any more time on Lawrence and his games. In truth, we should all aspire to be more like Tasha. Stand our grounds and don’t settle for less than what we truly deserve. Like I said, earlier love is like clay when we take our time we can mold it into something so beautiful.

That Is All
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Jasmin Williams said…
I agree with this post. Tasha is going to look like the bad person regardless. But I feel Lawrence rushed the situation with Tasha instead of coping with the breakup by himself. He used Tasha to get over the breakup but it didn't work. He hurt Tasha along the process which wasn't right.

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