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Amore`Advice: Could You Wait Until Marriage Before Living Together?

Hey Amore`
I been with this guy for 5 years and we’re very much in love. We met at his best friend birthday party and been together ever since. Last year, he took a job out of state and before he left he asked me to move with him however I told him that I wanted to get married before I moved in with him. I grew up in a very strict Christian household so, my family want me to get marry before I live with a man. Out of all the men that I dated he is the only guy who truly understand me and love me for who I am. He even okay with the fact that we not having sex until marriage, but it has been trouble in our relationship. For one he doesn’t believe in god, and he never been to church with me and the first two years in our relationship he cheated on me with three other women and my family doesn't like him. But we have gotten pass all of that and we’re stronger than ever but trusting him has been hard for me which why I haven’t moved in with yet I just think that we should get marry before moving in together. But when I bring up marriage he told me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but he not sure if he ready for marriage right now. Amore` I love him and I feel like now is the best time for us to get marry I’m at the point where I’m willing to propose to him myself because I can’t wait any longer. What should I do should I wait for him to propose to me, or should I propose to him, or should just give up all that I believe in and move in with him?

Kandi.T Houston TX, 27


Ok, there's many problems in this relationship that you’re trying to avoid that you need to face. Now, I have broken many rules when it came to dating and relationship if I could take most of them back lord knows that I would. However, proposing is one thing I made a vow that I will leave it up to the man to do. I’ve seen it all over social media women asking men to marry them, and I’m not knocking the women who’ve done it. Because I can understand when you feel in your heart that the time is right for marriage. But if you pay close attention to the men reactions in those videos when those women ask them for their hand in marriage it look like they wanted to leave from the proposal but fear looking like an asshole so they force themselves to stay. He already told you that he not ready for marriage, and by taking the initiative and proposing to him that will just push him away from the relationship altogether. 
Furthermore, I feel like that you’re just using marriage to avoid the true issues in your relationship. You just said that you don’t trust him because he had cheated on you in the past, and marriage won’t build that trust that you lost in him. If you can’t trust him now why would you think that marrying him will make you trust him even more? Marriage won’t fix the current problems that you two already have, it will just add to them. Also, another issue that you’re avoiding is the fact that he's an atheist. Just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean that he has to become one. And even if you two did get married he will not become a Christian he is content with his views and marriage won’t change how he feel. Which will only add more issues between you two, and your family. Because your family views already play a major role in your relationship now which could be the main reason why he not in a rush to marry you. I understand that you love him however, but I feel like you’re settling you also said that he’s the first man that accepted you for who are which is why you have a strong bond with him but the bond that you’re feeling is one sided. Maybe you two will go the distant in your relationship, but there are areas that you two need to work on before you even think of marriage. Since you didn’t list where he moved to, you need to go spend three weeks with him to see where this relationship is going and you need to have a heart to heart with him on how you feel. Cause even if you did want to move in with him right now it wouldn't be the smartest thing to do, there are too many problems that you two need to handle first.

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