Skip to main content

Amore Advice: Could You Date A Man That Still Close With His Ex?

I been with my boyfriend for 7 years, and he is the love of my life and I see us getting married one day. In the fourth year of our relationship he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend they were together for three years before we started dating. When I shared my concerns about their “friendship” early in our relationship he told me that I was overreacting and that I should trust him; and that she played an important part in his life. He swore that he was over her and that it was nothing between them and I believed him until they slept together. We broke up for 10 months as the aftermath. He begged me to come back and he said he would cut her off so, I went back to him and he kept his word. But last year she came back into the picture when she got hired at his job. And now they’re friends again, but this time she is in a relationship but I still don’t trust her because of what happen in the past. I told him how I felt but just like the last time he brushes it off like what I’m feeling doesn’t matter, I want to trust him but their friendship is something I can’t trust. She doesn’t even make an effort to be friends with me, and he doesn’t see that as a problem as well. I’m trying to stay in this relationship because I want to marry him, and have his children but I don’t see that happening if she stays in the picture. And I know that you going to asked no, they do not have any children together. But what should I do I want to be with him, but I don’t know if I can continue this relationship if they continue to be friends.

K. Lopez Atlanta, 29

Well you answer your own question so to speak. When two people break up you suppose to part ways, in order to heal from the ending of the relationship when you choose to stay friends after the break up it will keep you from healing and you end up avoiding the healing process. And when they decided to stay in contact each other they knew they wasn’t over each other. Furthermore, when he told you that she was “important part of his life” you should have ended the relationship right then and there. It obvious that these two still have strong feeling each other, even if she is in a relationship now she still makes it her mission to stay friends with him. Their relationship is something that you can’t compete with, and the fact he doesn’t care that she doesn’t want to be your friend shows how he really feel about you. I know it will be hard to let go of the relationship, since you invested 7 years with this man but you have to walk away. These two still have feeling that they need to sort out, and in the end the only person that will get hurt in the long run is you. Moreover, you can look at this as a new beginning to take back your life and your happiness. And find a man that will be afraid to lose you, when a man is not afraid to lose you then he doesn’t care about you. Yes, he came back after 10 months but his actions show that he can live without you. But if you choose to still stay with him even after all of this, then you're going to have to learn to deal with their friendship. You can't keep throwing what happen in the past in his face, you chose to be with him knowing that he broke your trust. And she is someone he chose to be friends with, and if you love him like you say that you do then you have to get used to her being around. But again if you know that you can't trust him nor her then you need to let this relationship go and move on with your life.

That Is All


Brandy said…
You answered this perfectly. How is she still an important part of his life if they have NO kids together. Yes feelings were definitely still there. One thing about it is, you have to let people heal and let go emotionally, physically and mentally from their past. Otherwise it always finds it's way back and the person will be sucked right back into it.

Popular posts from this blog

The Top Five Worst Women To Be In A Relationship With

Well, I was asked, and I deliver so to speak. Even though I don’t post the letters of questions I receive from women, I still answer back. And I read these letters seeing how women answer their own questions, to why they have relationship problems. I knew if I wrote this article that I would be label as a “pick me” and that not even the case. I’m far from a “pick me” but I have observed certain behavior where I knew why these women were still single. This list is not only for my readers, writing this made me look at some of my actions as well in what areas I need to work on as I continue to grow as a woman. Before I wrote this, I had to ask 5 men, and these were the women they chose who gave them hell. Yes, I’m aware that some of these actions were fueled by the hand of men who let them down and broke their heart. But it's no point to carry that into your next relationship. Like I always say you don’t have to agree with me, but it has to be written. So, here are the top five wors…

When Hurt People Hurt: Nas and Kelis

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Sometimes the demons we face, are not the person we’ve dated fault. We’ll never know the demons anyone truly face, until they decide if they want to take it out on us. We try to be there and show them something different but soon realize their demons are slowly killing us. As I come to learn a man is his mother image. A man is what his mother make him to be, he may carry out some of his father actions; but his character come from his mother. Like a woman is what her father tell her to be. Whether he speak it with his words or speak it with his actions (by not being in her life), a woman carry her father words with her everywhere she goes and in all of her relationships. That why sometimes when a man is reckless, if his mother understand his actions then no one else opinion of him even matter. Vice versa with a woman. We chose to play doctor but doesn’t stay around to fully cure that person injuries. We just add more cuts, to an already wounded soul…

Dating In Memphis: Top 5 Places To Go On a Date In Memphis

If you’re from Memphis then you know everyone favorite line here is “it nothing to do in Memphis”. Before last year I used to think the same thing. Going to the same hangouts, and eating at the same restaurants then getting on social media crying about how it nothing to do here or Memphis isn’t safe anymore. And of course, everyone favorite line "they shut down all the fun places in Memphis". It wasn’t until one night that I went out, and I had the time of my life at a place I never been before. The crazy part is I drove past this place several times not knowing it was a great place to hang out, and have fun (then the food was good). Since everyone here claim it nothing to do in Memphis, it leads to lack of creativity in the dating department. Well, this is where I step in and try to help. Dating is what keep the relationship alive. No matters how long you been with the person, you still have to date that person to keep that fire burning. The thing is nowhere in this univers…