Dear XOReflections, (yes, I also still go by xoreflections for those who will asked)
It's April and I've been talking to and entered the dating/early relationship stage with this guy... He's ambitious, has 3 babies, but on the road to getting his shit together. He's a few years shy of 30, however, I have strong feelings for him as if we could do this thing forever. Sometimes I worry about his full thought of commitment, because he seems "unavailable" in ways I can't put my finger on yet, but our connection can't be denied, he opens up to me more daily almost, and we are conversing and learning about each other in great strengths...
Now...During Venus Retrograde, a guy that showed small interest with no actions, resurfaced from a year ago. We had the conversation about where we (he) went wrong to avoid it happening again (he'd make plans to see me and NEVER fell through). So, we went on a date...it was great...second date within a few days of the first, and the third shortly after. All within two-week span! He's a little older and seems to know what he wants, has two babies and he is not leaving room for me to feel anyone else is on his mind, his family agreeing...I happened to kiss him, but didn’t enjoy it as much. I haven’t enjoyed anyone’s touch or kiss since I’ve been dating guy one, and although guy 2 seems to "have his shit together" I feel stronger for the man I've been dating.
Should I be concerned about choosing one? Or see how it goes with both?
Because I still have doubts about Man 1, we haven’t even been on a single date! But as I said, dates aren't required far as monetary, but time outside chilling is appreciated!
T, 26 Memphis TN
Well, problem one is that in your heart you already made up your mind on who you want to be with. It like the door is already close so to speak however, if you already having doubts about the relationship with guy 1 before the relationship even started then you will always have doubts as the relationship grows. And if he is acting unavailable then he might not be ready for a serious relationship, especially since he hasn’t an effort of trying to plan a romantic evening just for the two of you. Because as we get older “chilling” just not going to cut it, it’s time for a sit-down conversation about where the relationship is heading; and to see what he wants and if he is ready for a committed relationship. Because even though you’re feeling for him is strong now, you will start to feel some resentment towards later on for his lack of effort because actions speaks louder then words. And just Because his words are saying that he is ready, doesn't mean his actions will speak the same.
Now, with guy 2 until you sort out your relationship with guy 1 you’re not going to give guy 2 a fair chance. While he gives you a sense of comfort, he gives you the comfort that you want from guy 1; and like you said yourself you haven’t enjoyed another man company since you been dating guy 1. While I think, you should pursue this new growing friendship with guy 2 I also think it best you just leave it alone until you have the conversation with guy 1. He is where your heart lies, and you don’t want to break anyone heart or lead anyone on. Both men are great however, while guy 1 seem like he ready for a relationship he is more focus getting his shit together before he pursues a relationship with you. and with guy 2 he is at a place where he ready to settle down, and to be in a serious relationship with you but he not the guy that you want to be with. You have to open your heart just a little bit more to guy 2 so, you can make the right choice. I understand that you really into guy 1, but you have to get ready for the possibility that he not looking for same as you. Cause men won't tell you how they feel but their actions, will tell you if they ready for a relationship.
If you guys have any relationship questions, you can email me at email@example.com
That Is All
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