How many people can sit here, and actually say that they’re ready for a relationship? That the question I noticed that no one really asked themselves because it seems like we get lost in our relationship that we don't see when we're fucking up. When I was in my last relationship I was so invested in him, that I didn't realize that I didn't have shit going on for myself. My focus was him, and only him and no matter how my friends kept telling me that I was fucking up I wouldn't listen. It wasn't until the relationship ended that I saw, that I spent too much time focus on him and it damn near cost me everything. But I won't relive that mistake however, I will share my story once again so I can help other women.
It in a woman blood to love harder than a man because we're not allowed to have one title. It in us to do it all, or try to do it all even when we know we need to sit our ass down. There are time when keep going, like there isn't a off button going off inside of us. That just who we are, and even when we have too much on our plate we still try to fit one more piece on that plate. And that when a relationship come into play, even when our life is going on the up we still notice that one thing that is not there. And a relationship usually that one thing, or it something else but we choose the easy route and decide to date. For me, it was way easier to date than to go challenge myself and that why I don't blame my ex for the time that I spent invested in him. He didn't tell me to invest my time in him, I did it on my own. But he didn't have a problem with it either, a man is not going to tell you to back off. In fact, he could notice that you're too invested in the relationship but won't say anything until he wants space. And that when you left looking like an ass, while he is out living his life like you didn't put your life on hold for him.
As I come to learn the reason why women are so invested in a relationship, is because their life is at a standstill. When your life is at a standstill, you look for many ways to avoid going after your true destiny. I'm not saying that a relationship isn't your true destiny, but you know when there is something is missing. And we tend to think it a relationship, but a relationship can be far from what you're looking for. When my ex left, I sat down, and realize that I held on for so many years was because the fact I was scared to face the unknown alone. And I let my fear of being alone eat at me, I used him to keep me from my truth that I was damn near 30 with nothing going for myself but a garbage ass situation-ship. He was living his life to the fullest, while I was worried about making sure he was good. Like I said earlier, I can blame him but how can I blame him when he didn't asked me to put my life on hold. Like one of my favorites wrote when you invest yourself in a relationship that is the time that you won't get back. You can love a person all day, but if all you have to give is love then that love won’t last long. As I tell people all the time, love doesn't pay bills; nor fixed the problems that are based in that relationship it just hid them from the truth that neither are ready to face in that relationship.
There are days when I sit down, and think about my life mistakes. Yes, they were lessons that I needed in order to become the person I am today. But there is time when I asked myself, why were men were more important than my own happiness. Now I’m making up for the time I wasted on toxic relationships, making myself a stronger and better woman for myself; and the next man that come in my life. I can't judge no woman, because I been in their shoes in more ways than one. We can all say that we lived, and learned but are we truly living; and learning or are we existing? we have spirits in our bodies that people who are six feet under wish they can have. They are people every day that wishing they could change that one life decision, that left a lifetime effect on their lives. Don’t let love be that regret that you wish you could change, I get there are days when I’m lonely; and want a man beside me but I whether be alone than to be with a man that don’t love me like I deserve to be love. Love is just a word, it the actions that make the word so powerful and until you’re ready to put actions behind that word go live your life, and love your freedom. We only have one life, and the last thing you want to do is regret the life you’re living but what do I know I’m just here to drop some knowledge on my journey of self-love and peace.
That Is All
Images From Google
Images From Google