At first I was going to write how to handle being newly single, but I change my mind I'm writing about how to enjoy being newly single. It hard to go back being single after opening your spirit to another, however it time to look at as a new beginning of getting ready to enjoy your heart with the right person. Furthermore, while you waiting for the right person to come in your life you can be enjoying your new found freedom. I get it, it scary being single again be if you do this while you're single I promise you being single won't cross your mind. As I come to learn being single, only cross your thoughts when you standing in one place. Yes, there will time where you will get lonely (I have those moments) but you got to learned to be strong. So here are my ways to enjoy being newly single.
Go on Dates
Even if you're not ready, still go out and have fun it better than sitting in the house crying over a man who not even thinking about you right now. What I come to learn why I had so many failed relationships, was because I didn't date selfish I put all my eggs in one basket. And when the eggs were gone, so was the man and I was left with a wet face; and a wet ass looking like an ass. The point is that I didn't start dating selfish until now, and I finally realized that I'm the catch and the man that end up with me is a blessed to have me in his life. And that how you look at yourself, even with your broken spirit you should see that you’re the blessing. And any man that get ahold of your heart is a blessed man, however even if you not ready to date which you not cause now you see the world differently because you’re single. You just going on this date to get your mind off your ex, and as a new chapter of your new life as a single woman that all this date is no new relationship just a simple date.
When you're single, traveling alone is the best thing you can do. I remember my first time traveling alone (yes it was to see a man but still) I was nervous, but I knew it was something that I would enjoyed. And I enjoyed the freedom of traveling on my own, because I was able to make my own schedule and I was able to do what I wanted to do. As you know when you travel with someone you got to think of everyone that on that trip (and I'm not down with that shit). And what you want to see, your friends might not be interested in the same thing you want to do; and now you wasted the whole trip eating not doing a damn thing. Furthermore, after a break-up leaving the city where you shared so many memories with your former significant other for a few days will help you heal. Leaving will give you the peace you need, and in order to get that peace you have to travel one trip alone. Yeah you can call your girls while you on your journey but your girlfriends can't not go this is a trip for you; and only you. This is the time for you to put your tears, and past relationship is the past and come home ready to grow into a new woman.
One Night Stand (hear me out before yall jump on me)
Last year when I went through my break-up, I was broken; and I felt damage. Nothing, and no one could cheer me up. It was nice to hear people telling me that I was a good woman, and that I was too good for him. Yes, it did help but I was still hurting on the inside. So, I went on a dating app and I met this guy I knew that I needed him to just have fun and he was just what I needed to move on, and that was exactly the right medicine I needed. In his own way, he helps me heal (no we didn't have sex that why I told all to calm down). I told him the truth, and he was confused but he wanted to be there for me and he was there. Sometimes it takes the present of another person that you don't know to help you adjust to becoming newly single, and that what this guy did for me. He gave me the new energy that I was missing, he helps me heal in a new way that I will always be thankful for this man because of the gift he gave me. But if you do choose to sleep with him, then that your choice after all they say that sleeping with someone else is the best way to get over another (even though that sounds like bullshit to me). The point is sometimes a person; you don't know can make the transition to single much easier then family and friends.
This is also the time where you reflect, on what you think went wrong in the relationship. It easy to blame the man, instead of looking at self. Sometimes we know when we need to end a relationship, but choose to stay because it feels safe. Let be real here who not fucking scared to date in the time we're living in; everyone claims to be "hurt" or have "trust issues" which makes it hard to date or believe that someone good is out there. However, when you take the proper amount of time, to put everything in perspective of what went wrong then you will feel more secure in your search for love. But also, remember that you're healing for you this is not for a new man this is your time to make notes of all your mistakes so you won't make them t again. Gain deep wisdom understanding, and knowledge of what went wrong. No one is blaming you nor him for what went wrong, but if you don't take the time to heal then you are to blame for what will happen in your next relationship.
Take A 30 Days Social Media Break
Coming from me this sounds crazy, however I learned that this will help you in the long run. If he didn't block me on social media, I honestly believe that I wouldn't have heal like I healed (yes he blocks me and I thank him for blocking me cause if he didn't I damn sure wouldn't have block him). I was able on my own time, to take my mind off him; and let go. And in truth if you two broke up, why would you want to follow him on social media anyway. How knowing his every moves post break-up will help you let go, it won’t help you heal who you trying to fool but your damn self. And having your friends follow him, will only make it worse because they will finally see the truth of all the bullshit you let him get away with. Checking, and watching him will not help you it will only hold you Back. And being on social media while you have a broken heart won't help you either, if you can't do 30 Days then try 10 or 5 days. Just put the phone down, and just clear your mind for a while it will help and your brain will be clearer and more focus.
Being single is something I learned, that we don’t take for granted we don’t see the beauty of being single. And we don’t take the opportunity to grown as our own person, it’s easy to say that we love ourselves but somehow lose ourselves when we fall in love. Then we put it in our mind that loving someone will heal us, but all we’re doing is avoiding the journey that we need to be on to fine love. When we have demons that we need to face, we used other people to avoid them. We all want to love someone, even when we say that we don’t we really do. But until we learn the art of being alone, then we’re no good for no one. But as I always say, what do I know I’m just here to drop some knowledge on my journey of self.
That Is All