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Let It Go: Why Staying Friends With An Ex Hold You Back

Even though I’m on my journey of finding what I need in a relationship, I still go on dates. And I went on a date a few weeks back (in 2016), with this sexy ass teacher. We were having a good time, and everything was going well. Until he asked me a question that, I try to avoid with all the time. Since me, and my ex broke up, we did have a sit down; and talk. And together we found the gray areas, of what went wrong in our relationship. We decided that being together wasn’t meant for us, but we wanted to stay friends. However, if we meet someone then we will, end our friendship. To give that the person we’re dating a fair chance, to get to know us. So, he asked if I still talk to my ex; and I was upfront. He told me that if I didn't cut my ex off then he was going to do it for me, and the crazy part was he didn’t even know my favorite color yet. So, I told him that I had to go to the bathroom but really I left and went home. Cause I knew that, the date was going nowhere. The problems were number one he was trying to control me, and number two IT WAS OUR FIRST DATE!. However, it confirms my thoughts about being friends with your ex while you trying to date; and move on with your life. I see it all the time on my social media how men, and women try to justify their friendship with their ex. But what you're really doing is leaving hope for you guys to get back together. If you’re really trying to move on, with your life how can you fully move on with your ex floating around in your universe.

This conversation I have all the time, with other people. And it was men, that try to justify their friendship with their past significant other. They would say that their children, are the top reason behind their commutation with their ex. But other men went on to say that, even with no kids in the picture they just kept in touch with their ex because it felt good to know they were still there. Women do it to, but I will start with the men first. When a man give you his heart, I said it many times before that it took a lot for him to give you his heart. When a man share himself, with a woman he is no longer the same man that he once was before he let his wall down. The reason why some men go sleeping around with other women, because he has no desire to share himself with another woman until he meet the right woman. So, when a man break up with a woman, even if he doesn’t show it. He is fuck up in the head, because this woman took apart of his soul. it takes men a little bit longer to get over a break-up, then women (women also take long time to get over a relationship to but have friends to help her move on a little bit faster). Men can be heading towards moving on from their break-up, but held back after one phone call from their ex. See an ex knows when to call you, and fuck with your mind. Say what you want, but right when you heading to a place of peace. Here comes your ex, calling to check on you because “they missed you”. and men fall for that shit all the time, and think that it best to get back with a ex because he open himself up to her. He would whether go back to a woman that hurt him, then to move on with a new woman that can heal him. it nothing wrong going back to an ex. If the break-up wasn’t bad, but if the relationship ended badly to the point you thought of killing that person then why go back.

The problems with going back to an ex, that nothing really changed. Your ex is still the same asshole, that didn’t care about your feelings. That didn’t support your goals, and disrespected your family. And, when you go back to a ex you won’t ever get to live it down. Now when you love someone, other people options shouldn’t even matter. However, when you choose to go back to an ex, after crying about how they hurt you; and used you then you look like a fool. And when a woman go back after a man that hurt her, she looks like homey the clown (if you watched in living colors then you know what I'm talking about). When a woman get her heartbroken, she got to get her heartbroken at least 3 or 4 times before it has a full effect on how she will now treat men (with some women it takes one man to hurt her that make her change but for many women it will take 3 or 4 men to make her wake up and look at herself). As women, we are more willing to forgive an ex after he wronged us (nobody know that better than me). When a man fuck over a good woman, it takes a long time before he realizes that he fucks up but when he does best believe he going to come back begging. While there are some men that know when they mess up, and they know it best to stay away and just let go after the damage they done. Then there are those men that knows they fuck up, but feel like they deserve a second chance anyway. And in your heart, you thinking about all those good times, and even with more bad times then good times those few good memories make you forget about all of those times he made you cry; and feel low. And you try to take it slow, and just be his friend but those old feeling come back and those few good time is still in the back of your mind so fall back in the same place you were in before you two broke up.

What people don’t understand about an ex, that you both parted ways for a reason. Even if the reason seems stupid, it wasn’t stupid when you two broke up behind it. If that person was meant to be in your life, then they would have fought harder to stay in your life. We all want to believe that after a breakup, we can stay friends with an ex, but all we’re looking for is to get back together with someone that going to hurt us again. We all want to believe that a person can grow, and become that person you know they’re capable of becoming. And maybe one day they will become that person, however it just no meant for you to be there when they make that growth. Staying friends with an ex only hold you back, from your growth and you living in a past of a love that just not meant to be. But as I say all the time, what do I know I’m just here to drop some knowledge on my journey of self.

That Is All

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