Skip to main content

You & Him: When You Choose To Forgive Him For Cheating

The true testament of a relationship, is forgiveness. Finding in your heart to forgive your spouse, after they have hurt you is a test that many couples have failed. I once said that, when a person chooses to forgive their spouse for hurting them, they are only forgiving them for certain situations. Like a friend of mine; he steps out in the relationship, and he apologize for his actions. They got back together, but you can tell by her actions that she hasn’t forgave him for what he has done to her. Nor do she have plans to forgive him, she whether lie to herself and to him that she forgave him then to be alone. But there are  couples who can forgive their significant other for their mistakes, and grow from the situations. But as well know once a person break your trust, nothing is ever the same again.
When the rapper “waka flocka” cheated on his wife Tammy Rivera this past summer, it was all over the celebrity blogs. Everyone knew (in their mind) that his wife Tammy Rivera was going to leave him, because “she deserves better”. But after it has gotten out that he steps out in his marriage, waka was all in the media (like he couldn’t just call her, and text her) begging for her to give him another chance. And when she chose to forgive him, and to fix their marriage, that when everyone (well women) has something to say about the situation. Women would say that she has “low self- esteem”, and she was “stupid’ to give him another chance. Women were talking about her like they haven’t been in that situation before. Which made the rapper called them out, calling them “bitter” and “mad" that they didn’t have a man on their own. For a while, tammy didn’t respond to the women that were talking about her decision to forgive her husband. But after the continuing disrespect, of her decision to give her husband another chance she snaps back. She repeated what her husband had said early on, calling women “bitter”, and even said that women was weak” for leaving their spouse after they cheated. In a way, she was right. But yet she was so wrong, while back I forgave a man for cheating. (I know that I’m not the only one who have forgave a man for stepping out so don’t even try it) But since I knew that I was going to forgive my ex for stepping out in our relationship, I knew at the time that I was no longer allowed to offer advice about other people relationship while I was in my own dysfunctional relationship.






Women who have the same problems, as you they love to give advice like they shit don’t stink. They love to share what they would do if they were in the same situation; but be in the exact same situation, and do the opposite of what they telling you to do. They love telling you that you need a “real man”, but be with a man that they can't even trust. The advice they’re giving you do not match the problems that you have in your relationship, your man could have forgot to put the toilet seat down, while their man gotten another woman pregnant, and the woman making her life a living hell. The point is your problems, will not match your girlfriend’s relationship problems. So, the advice they’re sharing will cause more damages then good. When you let other people in your relationship, you asking for problems. When you stay in a class house, people will throw stones to try to tear down your home. I’m not saying to forgive a man for cheating, because when a man lay down with another woman like he lay with you nothing feel the same anymore. And no matter how many times he tells you he sorry for what he done, you no longer share that feeling you once had for him anymore. But if you chose to forgive him for cheating, that conversation should be with three people only: the most high, him, and yourself. If you’re asking other people (especially other women) if you should forgive him, you’re asking for answers that you know you’re not ready to hear. The only question you need to asked yourself is will you be ok after the fact, cause you’re going to be angry, and that trust once you had for him is no longer there. And once you paint a bad image of a man in women and your family mind that image will always stay with them no matter how much that man have change. He will still be that man that broke your heart, and used you. And now there will be a ripped between you, and your friends, and him. Because of all the shit you said about him, which is why men don't want their girlfriends talking about their relationship with other people. If you got a real bond with your girlfriends, then they will keep real with you all the time. They don’t care how much you love that man, they will be looking out for you under the guide that they don’t want to see their friend getting hurt.




And if they feel like that man you're with is playing games, then they will tell you. But what I have learn from my personal experience, and from watching my friends who I love dearly in the same situation life is the best teacher. So, there is no used for you to share your advice with them. When it’s come to love, you will always listen to your first thought. Meaning you will listen to what YOUR mind is telling you, instead of listening to what your friends is trying to tell you. no matter how much you love them, you got to let them make their own mistakes. You can want the best for them, but now right now they don’t deserve the best. They need to learn their worth, and watching them getting hurt by a person they love with all their soul will show them how much they are worth, since they don’t already know that. We can always want the best for us, but sometimes we have to fall down in order to know what is best for us. But iyou know deep down inside you can’t forgive your man for cheating, then don’t go back. Yes, what he did is wrong, and it’s hard to look at him the same afterwards. But it’s not fair to him to keep throwing that in his face, he knows what he did was wrong. And he apologizes for his poor actions, but it’s no used to keep bringing it up like it's will change what he done. if you know that you can't get over it, and you can’t forgive him no matter what then you’re wasting your time acting like you can. Just let go, and move on.





That Is All

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When Hurt People Hurt: Nas and Kelis

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Sometimes the demons we face, are not the person we’ve dated fault. We’ll never know the demons anyone truly face, until they decide if they want to take it out on us. We try to be there and show them something different but soon realize their demons are slowly killing us. As I come to learn a man is his mother image. A man is what his mother make him to be, he may carry out some of his father actions; but his character come from his mother. Like a woman is what her father tell her to be. Whether he speak it with his words or speak it with his actions (by not being in her life), a woman carry her father words with her everywhere she goes and in all of her relationships. That why sometimes when a man is reckless, if his mother understand his actions then no one else opinion of him even matter. Vice versa with a woman. We chose to play doctor but doesn’t stay around to fully cure that person injuries. We just add more cuts, to an already wounded soul…

My Thoughts on Love Is...

As I always say, when the love is real it not meant for anyone on the outside to understand. I always ask women “what would they do for love?” Some women answer, while some just look at me like I’m crazy. Everyone loves to claim they have a limitation on love. However, as one told me you only have limitation when you haven’t met your match. Now, before I could write this story I had to re-watch this series twice just to make sure I was understanding what I was watching. Therefore, after watching this show I got something to say and it won’t be pretty. My new addiction celebrating black love is Love Is”, which tells the origin story of a modern-day love, before social media came and destroyed well trying to destroy love for everyone. This show has become the topic of discussion more than this season of “Insecure” (I’m still waiting for that wow moment of this season). Love Is_ is set in '90s. And tells the story of two Black creatives who fall for each other quickly. Nuri works as…

What to Do When A Person Ghost You

We all knew this day was coming and now it time I write about it. This Sunday night, was the season finale of “insecure." Now, before I get to the point of the story I must share my thoughts of this whole season. I was looking for that spark this season like season one, and two, but I didn’t receive one until the end. Even the whole Daniel and Issa storyline that was a letdown. When I saw she brought back Lawrence I was hoping that finally they would work it out, but again Lawrence on that bitch ass shit. However, the relationship between Nathan and Issa was the talk on black twitter. While Issa thoughts she finally met a good guy who challenge her, Nathan proved that “the lighter the eyes, the bigger the lies.” While we have to wait until Next Year to see exactly where this relationship will go, Nathan pulled a move that was close to home for many people. It hurt like hell when a person leave you without any warning or reasons. It leave you asking yourself, “What did you do?” We…