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Love Letters From Racine:The Perfect Love

…and I’m willing to stand firm in my statement. A perfect love is real and does exist. The issue? People believe they are imperfect beings created by a perfect creator; instant divide between the conscious and subconscious minds. So, we live as if we are imperfect due to the conscious mind’s experience with the world; which, in turn, makes our experience with love seem “imperfect.” From vanity and beauty to marriage and children, an outside force has dictated love for us. From diamonds being a girl’s best friend to the way to a man’s heart being the stomach, we have completely forgotten what it is to love and be involved in a relationship with unconditional commitment.

Now, the reason why I say forgotten, and not lost, is because there was a time when our love for each other was pure and raw. That time was during our childhoods. Think back to your very first crush. The first person that ever made your soul shiver. The first person to ever make you smile while they were away. The first person to ever make you blush; simply because they let you use the sunset orange crayon from their 64 count Crayola box as you wrote their initials with yours in a heart with an arrow going through it. Probably made you smile just thinking about it huh? Well, now that memory lane is just a little more vivid, let’s go back a wee bit farther as we venture into the sandboxes and swing-sets; just a few years before that. That place, we’ll call it Sandbox Road, is where our love in relationships was its highest and most potent.

How so? Because our little minds weren’t conditioned to conceptualize much of the dumb stuff we’ve internalized as adults. At those times, we needed no incentives, rewards or consequences to give or receive love. We didn’t need a reason to share our animal crackers. We didn’t need a reason to spark a conversation if we wanted merge Legos. We didn’t need a reason to hug anybody when we felt the rise of affection. We simply lived and loved with no reserves. We made friends. We had friends. Lots of them. Why? Because there was never a preconceived notion behind why we should/shouldn’t have a relationship with this person. But even then, there would be a shift in which particular person would receive more from us than everyone else.

There was a different energy present. An energy that made us want to give them the snicker bar from our Lunchables. An energy that made us want to hold their hand, and only their hand, when we would walk from the building to the playground. An energy that made us give them our apple juice when they cried after theirs spilled over; for no other reason than “we felt like it.” That reason is the what, when, where, why, how, who and to what extent love is.

And that’s how I know love is perfect. We’ve experienced it before. We’ve given it and received it at some point in our childhoods; outside of our families. We simply forgot. How? Because we’ve been conditioned to put stipulations on love. Rings, sex, holidays, you name it. We’ve corrupted the way we “show” that we love someone. We give to someone, expecting something back. Whether immediately or in the future, we desire some form of reciprocity from that person. We set expectations and get upset when they aren’t met; but with logical reason. That’s what expectations are for. However, that’s not what love is about. Hell, many times we set expectations that we can’t meet ourselves; and that’s where we falter. Unconditional love can never thrive where expectations are set. If we are who we desire to be with and we love ourselves, we won’t need expectations and the love is easier to remove the conditions from…but, I guess that’s what comes when love becomes an adult. Maybe we should start being a little more childish in that regard…not teenish, but childish…maybe perfect love can be realized again. But hey, it’s not definitive law or anything; just my perspective…dig me?

Peace, Love, Knowledge and Freedom.

SN: If you enjoy my writing and my thoughts you will enjoy my first book So Frail: A Reality to Black Male Masculinity. It’s a must read!!! You will not be disappointed. Get yours now:


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