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Dating Etiquette 101: The Do's and Don't's Of The First Date

This past summer, before I postpone my dating life. I went on several dates, but this one particular guy I dated made me realize that I had poor dating etiquette. He was a catch, he was a writer, had his own business, and was 6’5. He was easy on the eyes, with a smile to match as well. Every time we would go out he would take me to some of Memphis best restaurants, and different art galleries. But he could tell that, I wasn’t ready to be dating. Because at the time dating was new to me, (that when I realize that I needed to heal myself before I start dating again). When I was in my last situation, I made the biggest mistake by getting comfortable in the relationship. We would just chill, or just watch a movie. I didn’t mind that we didn’t go out, because all I wanted to do was spend my time under him. But as I come to learn, that if you want to keep the relationship fresh then it’s important to not let that fire die out. And boy did our fire die out quickly, but here are six dating mistakes that we make but don’t realize are signs of poor dating etiquette.

Close Minded Individual
Yes, being closed minded is poor dating etiquette. Dating is supposed to be fun, and exciting. And waiting in a long ass line to see a movie, and going to Applebee’s get old. Plans something different, and something new. Believe it, or not Memphis have many great places to go for a great first date. Being closed mined, and not willing to go to different places make you look like a difficult person. And all dates doesn't cost money you can do a “free date” like open mic night, or go for a walk down on riverfront (yes, I’m aware that its cold but you can still go for a walk damn it). The point is to get to know each other, and this may don’t seem like it a way to get to know each other, but being open minded will make the guy more intrigued about you.

Men Plan An Actually Date
Yes, while women should be more open minded to different kinds of places . It not fair that a woman got to plan the date as well, when you asked a woman out not one time you should asked her “what do you want to do”. IS NOT A FUCKING DATE!!!!!!!, asking me where I want to go on the first date is the quickest way for me to delete your number. Its early signs of how the relationship will be, and it also shows that you’re are after only one thing. And you aren’t getting that no time soon, and women when a man asked where you want to go you shouldn’t give him no ideas. Unless you the one that asked him out, you shouldn’t give a man no ideas on where to go unless it’s the second or third date.

Information Boundaries 
If you know me then you know, that I can talk about almost anything. I love a great conversation, and to date me we must have great conversation at all time.  But there are some topics that should be, left off the table until you two are a couple. The first date is too early to be an open book, there some things that will be on a need to know basic. Talking about your past relationships, and last time you had sex are topics that should be left off the table as conversation starters (I learned the hard way). While you should have an off the wall conversation on the first date, putting everything out there will scared off the guy. And he will think you’re damaged because you’re sharing so much, when he just wants to know what is your favorite color. So, do talk but don’t be to open.

Be Upfront With Your Intentions
We’re live in a time where everyone been hurt, or lied to (or so they say). No one knows how to be real anymore, people love to put on a fa├žade that they’re more then what they claimed to be. So, when dating no one share their true intentions of what they’re looking for. When I did date this guy, I knew off top that he was a “husband”, he was looking to settle down. While I was working to heal my broken heart, I wasn’t ready for another relationship. So, I told him upfront. He was upset, but he still wanted to see me. And I did go on three more dates with him, but when he saw that I wasn’t going to be ready for a relationship no time soon we stop talking. People don’t know how to be real anymore, and that is the problem. Being honest can save people from wasting their time, with someone who is looking for more then you’re willing to offer. If you’re just looking for sex, then that your pedigree. No one can get upset with you, if that all you’re willing to give at the time. It’s just when you choose to lie about your intentions, that when it’s become a problem. So, be honest and save someone from wasting their time.

Make Eye Contact/ Put Your Phone Away
When you’re on a date, you’re trying to learn about a person. Being on your phone while you’re on a date, make you look like you’re not interested in the person. You’re on a date with, so put the phone away and listen to the person you are with. And make eye contact, “J” said that what he hated about me was the fact that I wouldn’t look him in his eyes. Furthermore, it’s always the small details that keep you from getting a second date. And none eye contact, can keep you from getting a second date. So, put away your phone and look at the beauty of the person that you on a date with. 

Do Some Soul Searching

Its took me to go out with, “J” for me to realize that I needed to take a break from dating. In truth dating after a break-up seem like a good idea, because you have people in your ear telling you it’s time to move on. And how you shouldn't let one bad relationship keep you from dating, (that what my friends told me).  So, I listen knowing that being by myself was my own personal form of healing. I needed time to understand my mistakes, and what I truly needed in a mate. While he could have been a perfect mate for me, all I would end up doing is breaking his heart cause my heart got broken. Furthermore, before you bring someone in your life take the time to soul search on what you need. It’s nothing wrong with being by yourself to know what you need, and learn more about you. The last thing you need to do is to bring someone in your emotional mess, while you’re trying to heal yourself. All you will do is bring that person down, with your issues and that no fair to that person. So, heal yourself before you date it the only way you will know what you need in your quest for love.

Dating is hard, looking to share your soul with another person is scary. But once you see the beauty of love, it will make it all worthwhile. If I could remember “J” number (don’t judge me), I would tell him thank you for giving me the answers. For giving me that push to stop dating, and find myself. Who knows he may be married by now, but I wish him the best on his journey of love. But as I continue my journey, I will find my soulmate. I might already have, but while I wait for my soulmate. I will enjoy this single life, and continue my quest for the answers of my completion.

That Is All…


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