…Now, of course, this is not about microwaves and fast food in a literal sense. It’s a metaphor about how we’ve grown accustomed to instant gratification through many of our societal changes. We look at our relationships in terms of how quick we can make the other fall for us. We no longer allow the genuine, organic flow of connection to happen anymore. We simply want the result in the beginning, causing us to miss out on a perfect relationship because we just can’t wait for the perfection to develop.
Let me first say that this is not everybody; nor is it every relationship. However, it is a root cause in a high percentage of failed relationships. In today’s times, we take advantage of the social interactions we have on a day to day; interactions that cut connection curves significantly. From text messages to video calls to the DM’s, it really goes down. We have the luxury of spending 24 hours with someone who is not in our physical presence. Granted, this can be very good and beneficial when relationships are established and over long distances. However, we are trying to start, not continue, relationships through this in an expedited manner. That’s where the trouble, and the microwaves, comes in. We rush, and force, the process; rather than letting it grow organically.
For starters, we are not able to learn about the person we are involved with through observation and contact. We now read our resumes and ask for their resumes from the jump. We are told what favorite colors are by day two. We no longer spend the time to observe the colors of the accessories they wear to find out that color. We know the favorite foods by day three. We no longer go on several food dates to see how they do the little happy dance when their favorite foods are brought out. We know their favorite songs on day one. We no longer get to be together when their song comes on and they stop mid-sentence like New-New, close their eyes and say “Mm, that’s my jam.” We want the relationship, but do we really want the relationship experience?
The experience, to me, is the permanent understanding of one another because we taught each other through personal interaction and time. Feel me? Like when we were in school and you knew the answer because you knew the material; not because you memorized the study guide. Our relationships aren’t like that anymore these days, you know? Therefore, they become so easy to walk away from. Just like fast food, if you don’t get it right then, it’s not good later. Even if you warmed it up, it’s just not the same as when you first bought it. But that home cooked meal that took two hours to cook with a forty-five-minute marinade and prep time can be eaten cold; with no worries. Just like relationships, the greatest ones had time to marinate and get juicy, feel me? And the worst ones weren’t stable; just looked good in the moment and we no longer wanted them when they got old; just like fast food.
But this is just my expression through observation and experience. If we would rid our minds of this concept of time stamps with sex in ninety days, love in six months, marriage by two years, kids by three, we could really listen and learn people. We could get out of this “fall in love now” type of thought process that clearly isn’t working. Haste makes waste; and if we continue to rush our relationships with people, we’ll keep having bad luck. Get out of the microwave, and get in the oven. Get out of the drive through, and get in the kitchen. Slow it down a little bit and connect with the person you are building with organically. Stop speeding through to attach like a GMO.
Peace, Love, Knowledge and Freedom.
SN: If you enjoy my writing and my thoughts you will enjoy my first book So Frail: A Reality to Black Male Masculinity. It’s a must read!!! You will not be disappointed. Get your now: