Awhile back when I was working out trying to lose this 15 pounds for my birthday, I was listening to this group of men talking about how amber rose, and black china were whores, and how they made black women look bad (Well I didn’t know that they represented for all black women but ok). But as they were talking they spoke of another woman named that I didn’t know that men felt like she was a hoe, they said Ciara were a whore. Now from what the media put out there or what is shared in the media Ciara has only dated 5 men, now I didn’t know that 5 men can make any woman a whore but apparently dating 5 men can make you a hoe. One conversation that couples try to avoid is the talk of their sexual past, because they feel like they will be judged from the mistakes they made sexual. While you will meet people that say that your sexual past doesn’t matter, you will also meet people who will say that their spouse sexual past is important information that need to be shared before the relationship become serious.
In a study, its was shown that women were more likely to avoid the conversation of their sexual past, reason being they were worry about how they will be treated, or judged when they told their spouse about their sexual encounters. There are men out there who will tell you that “that a woman sexual past don’t matters as long she don’t have don’t have any “STD”. And for a quick moment you actually believe him when he tell you that. But have you ever know notice how women who does have an extensive sexual past, are not likely to go to a man that said her sexual past doesn’t matter because deep down its do matters. Yes, there are men who will stand by that statement, and really meant it when he says your past don’t matter, and will love you no matter how extensive you’re sexual past can possibly be. But pay attention to how he treats you, because remember “actions speak louder than words”. And while his words say “your past is the past”, his actions towards you will show you how he really feels about you, and your sexual past. He really could be embarrasses by your past, and have a strong opinion about your sexual past (especially if you slept with more people then him), and will treat you like every other man in your past has treated you, or all together just break up with you. Because of his personal issues with your past, after he told you that your sexual past wasn’t a problem. But incidents like this are reason why women choose keep their sexual past to themselves, because of the fear of how they will be treated because of their past, and fear of losing a “good” man behind it.
In research that was called “our sexual averages” (google it, it’s a must read) it was shown that, Health Statistics that was done on 6,237 adults between the ages of 20 to 59 from 1999 to 2010, it was found that 29% of men had 15 or more sexual partners, and 9% of women had sex with 15 or more men. And also in the same survey, it’s reported that 46% of black men and 13% of black women had 15 or more sexual partners in their lifetime and 17% of men and 10% of women had 2 or more sexual partners in the previous year. It’s also reported that 25% of women and 17% of men reported they had no more than one sexual partner in their entire life. But Just 35% of women wanted to know a man's sexual past, while for men, only 30% wanted to know a woman's sexual history. But in all 89% percent of men, and women said if their spouse slept with over 30 people then they would end the relationship all together because it was a huge turn off, and saying their spouse high numbers would cause trust issues, and high thoughts of infidelity, because it was also shown that the people who did have a high body count claimed that cheating were the main factor behind their high body count.
Since now dating is becoming harder a person sexual past is just the last thing on many people mind when they are looking for their soul mate. But while men were saying they didn’t want a woman with a deep past, also it’s was shown that the same men who said they didn’t want a woman with an extensive past were most likely to impregnate a woman with extensive past. A person can’t take back their past mistake and honestly in some cases, it doesn’t matter because it’s more to a person then there sexual encounters. No one want to marry a person who share their soul with different kind of demons, but when you’re dating those people wasn’t demons to them they were someone they deeply loved, and saw a future with. Even if you didn’t sleep with 10 or 15 people in one year, if you add how many relationships you been in every year since you been dating then you more likely surpass the same woman or man you calling a whore. No one can take back their mistakes, and they damn sure don’t need to be ashamed of their past either.