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Showing posts from October, 2016

I Do Not Respect Black Men

Written By Cande M. I have a confession… I do not respect Black men.
*Sighs* I have finally come to the realization of why I am so often approached by unstable black men (in terms of relationships). I would always wonder what I could do to improve myself in the physical realm in order to become a magnet for alpha black men with financial and emotional stability. I worked on building my own business, looking more appealing, and exuding more confidence in public spaces. I now realize that it wasn’t anything in the physical realm causing the disconnect in what I consciously wanted and what I kept receiving; the problem is my perspective and my internalized view of black men... Subconsciously, I feel that black men (as a collective) are immature, selfish, and can’t do anything right. I look down on black men and I see them as toddlers currently going through the “Mine, mine, mine!” and the “NO” stage of social growth. Over the years, I’ve noticed too many black men that seem to expect ever…

Lasting Relationship Or Workforce Relationship

Do you remember the first time you got your first real job, you love that job, and how you wanted to grow with the company. You couldn’t understand why so many of your co-workers were quitting and complaining about the company because to you everything felt good about this company, and you saw yourself staying with the company for a long time. But now, the years had pass by, and you have seen no growth with this company, and now you understand why so many of your former co-workers left the company because now you feel stuck, and in need of a new environment, and don’t want to stay another day at this dead end job. Now picture this as your current relationship, when women who are in relationship asked me about the dating scene, I am guilty of telling other women to stay in their relationship because being single in this dating market is horrible not realizing that I'm telling them to stay in a unhealthy relationship. But it's true why lie about it, with all this social media ou…

There Are Good Men Out There: Ciara And Russell Wilson

One of the most talked about relationship between black people is the marriage of Russell Wilson and Ciara. While women praised the relationship between the pair, and hope that they can meet a man with a heart, and soul like Russell. When you talked to black men about their opinion on the couple well let just say that she is called everything mess up under the sun. Black men talk down about Ciara like she one of their ex-girlfriend, or baby mother and felt like how she treats her child father (rapper future) was disrespectful. While there are some points that I do agree with what men has said about the relationship, I also feel like this is the typical anger that men have when a woman decide that she will no longer wait for a man to get what she truly desire, and deserve when it's comes to her heart.

If you look at the relationship of Ciara and future, you wonder why Ciara would even get with a man like that in the first place. While I have no issue with dating a man that have a ch…

The aftermath of cheating

One of the hardest situations to come back from in a relationship is cheating, I have been cheated on in all my relationships, and it’s made me questions what I was doing wrong for a man to feel like I wasn’t enough. But once we tried to fix the relationship after the fact I knew that there was nothing he could to for the relationship to go back to what we once had. When someone decide to step out on the relationship, nothing feel the same anymore. Everything that once held the relationship together has shipped, and changed the foundation that was once so strong, and felt unbreakable. There are couples who will tell you that when the partner step out, it’s made the relationship stronger. But then there those couples who put themselves through hell to save what is broken between them. There are many different forms of cheatings, but it’s all lead to the bedroom.

EMOTIONAL CHEATING Emotional cheating may include physical intimacy but not necessarily so. Emotional cheating may begin as an …

The Cheat Code for Healing Our Community

Written By Cande M.
Recently, with the influx of “woke” individuals and more people beginning to care about the state of the black community, I hear a lot of talk about working on our mental health, group economics, and the relationships between males and females. This is good... actually, this is GREAT! This means that more black people are becoming open to taking the necessary steps to improve their lives - instead of just following tradition and embracing complacency. To me, it is important to always connect divinity to humanity and spirituality to the natural, so I am going to give a broad solution to the issues by providing a comprehensive analysis of masculine and feminine principles. As we can clearly see within the black community, our families are dysfunctional, we are (collectively) living in poverty, and we are going through a major identity crises. Of course, other communities have issues and we are not the only group with a dire need for balance, but aren’t we tired of using other c…