Skip to main content

Love Letters From Racine: Why Women Loves Bad Boy

...yea, it’s rather common that women overlook the good guy for the bad boy. But I feel it’s because of the principle the bad boy represents; coupled with the imagery depicted in our forms of entertainment. There are generally two "types of men" that women have been boxed in to desiring. One is the knight in shiny armor and the other is the bad boy with the good heart; but for conversation's sake, we'll stick to the bad boy.

The bad boy is an image that is desired because principally he represents the warrior, the soldier, the thug, etc... The underlying thing here is physical protection. Women naturally desire security and protection so they seek it in that embodiment. Most bad boys can fight and have a "manly" persona that seems to exude the testosterone necessary to sustain the idea of strength. That’s what captivates women; making them desire the bad boy. But the image is falsely solidified because entertainment paints a picture that misrepresents what the bad boy really is.

In movies, TV shows and magazines, the bad boy typically has a mysterious, dark past that is misunderstood. He acts the way he acts because no one understands him. Then he meets the woman who comes along and makes the wall crumble down and makes him more caring and compassionate about life. She does this by making him feel more and showing him what he always wanted out of life in regards to his feelings and being loved. Then they get married and live happily ever after. And as cute as it seems, its bullshit; and it’s the reason why women get hurt by these very bad boys.

The imagery leads women to believe that they can be that one woman who can change that one bad boy for the better. And although it’s possible, some details are often left out of this imagery. 1) The bad boy was taught to be a bad boy through generations of conditioning. It’s not a persona he carries on; contrary to popular belief. 2) Being a bad boy is not some ploy to mask that he is really a good person on the inside who is just posing for the sake of attraction. He's really who he is portraying himself to be. 3) The men in those movies changed because they wanted to. Not because of the love the woman gave. She simply served as the catalyst; nothing more.

In chemistry, we are taught that a catalyst only speeds up the rate of the reaction. Essentially it makes the reactants do what they were going to do anyway; just faster. Women who involve themselves with bad boys generally do just that. They bring TLC to this man with hopes that they can make him better. What ends up happening is that you increase the speed in which his life was moving. If he becomes a better man, he was already on the path. If he hurts you, he was already on the path. If he gives a woman, and family, a life that he would not give you, he was already on that path. You cannot change him, or that. He changes himself. But the imagery created around the bad boy makes you think otherwise.

So all of that was to say that women, in my opinion, are attracted to the bad boys for the persona and the imagery that goes with what a bad boy is perceived to be. The good guy is overlooked because he's corny; in comparison. The good guy doesn't need to be worked on. Building a bad boy up and making him change for the better has a subconscious reward of self-worth for women. A reward that is not available when being involved with the good guy. He has is proverbial "shit together;" therefore, the feeling of contribution seems to be absent. Plus, there's a level of excitement expected through the potential danger of being involved with the bad boy. However, it’s all an illusion that only ends in pain and disappointment for the women who like the bad boys.

But these are just my views and opinions. Nothing is definitive law or anything...just something to think about...something different to look at...feel me?

Peace, love, knowledge and freedom...


Popular posts from this blog

The Top Five Worst Women To Be In A Relationship With

Well, I was asked, and I deliver so to speak. Even though I don’t post the letters of questions I receive from women, I still answer back. And I read these letters seeing how women answer their own questions, to why they have relationship problems. I knew if I wrote this article that I would be label as a “pick me” and that not even the case. I’m far from a “pick me” but I have observed certain behavior where I knew why these women were still single. This list is not only for my readers, writing this made me look at some of my actions as well in what areas I need to work on as I continue to grow as a woman. Before I wrote this, I had to ask 5 men, and these were the women they chose who gave them hell. Yes, I’m aware that some of these actions were fueled by the hand of men who let them down and broke their heart. But it's no point to carry that into your next relationship. Like I always say you don’t have to agree with me, but it has to be written. So, here are the top five wors…

When Hurt People Hurt: Nas and Kelis

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Sometimes the demons we face, are not the person we’ve dated fault. We’ll never know the demons anyone truly face, until they decide if they want to take it out on us. We try to be there and show them something different but soon realize their demons are slowly killing us. As I come to learn a man is his mother image. A man is what his mother make him to be, he may carry out some of his father actions; but his character come from his mother. Like a woman is what her father tell her to be. Whether he speak it with his words or speak it with his actions (by not being in her life), a woman carry her father words with her everywhere she goes and in all of her relationships. That why sometimes when a man is reckless, if his mother understand his actions then no one else opinion of him even matter. Vice versa with a woman. We chose to play doctor but doesn’t stay around to fully cure that person injuries. We just add more cuts, to an already wounded soul…

Dating In Memphis: Top 5 Places To Go On a Date In Memphis

If you’re from Memphis then you know everyone favorite line here is “it nothing to do in Memphis”. Before last year I used to think the same thing. Going to the same hangouts, and eating at the same restaurants then getting on social media crying about how it nothing to do here or Memphis isn’t safe anymore. And of course, everyone favorite line "they shut down all the fun places in Memphis". It wasn’t until one night that I went out, and I had the time of my life at a place I never been before. The crazy part is I drove past this place several times not knowing it was a great place to hang out, and have fun (then the food was good). Since everyone here claim it nothing to do in Memphis, it leads to lack of creativity in the dating department. Well, this is where I step in and try to help. Dating is what keep the relationship alive. No matters how long you been with the person, you still have to date that person to keep that fire burning. The thing is nowhere in this univers…