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Love Letters From Racine: Why Women Loves Bad Boy

...yea, it’s rather common that women overlook the good guy for the bad boy. But I feel it’s because of the principle the bad boy represents; coupled with the imagery depicted in our forms of entertainment. There are generally two "types of men" that women have been boxed in to desiring. One is the knight in shiny armor and the other is the bad boy with the good heart; but for conversation's sake, we'll stick to the bad boy.

The bad boy is an image that is desired because principally he represents the warrior, the soldier, the thug, etc... The underlying thing here is physical protection. Women naturally desire security and protection so they seek it in that embodiment. Most bad boys can fight and have a "manly" persona that seems to exude the testosterone necessary to sustain the idea of strength. That’s what captivates women; making them desire the bad boy. But the image is falsely solidified because entertainment paints a picture that misrepresents what the bad boy really is.

In movies, TV shows and magazines, the bad boy typically has a mysterious, dark past that is misunderstood. He acts the way he acts because no one understands him. Then he meets the woman who comes along and makes the wall crumble down and makes him more caring and compassionate about life. She does this by making him feel more and showing him what he always wanted out of life in regards to his feelings and being loved. Then they get married and live happily ever after. And as cute as it seems, its bullshit; and it’s the reason why women get hurt by these very bad boys.

The imagery leads women to believe that they can be that one woman who can change that one bad boy for the better. And although it’s possible, some details are often left out of this imagery. 1) The bad boy was taught to be a bad boy through generations of conditioning. It’s not a persona he carries on; contrary to popular belief. 2) Being a bad boy is not some ploy to mask that he is really a good person on the inside who is just posing for the sake of attraction. He's really who he is portraying himself to be. 3) The men in those movies changed because they wanted to. Not because of the love the woman gave. She simply served as the catalyst; nothing more.

In chemistry, we are taught that a catalyst only speeds up the rate of the reaction. Essentially it makes the reactants do what they were going to do anyway; just faster. Women who involve themselves with bad boys generally do just that. They bring TLC to this man with hopes that they can make him better. What ends up happening is that you increase the speed in which his life was moving. If he becomes a better man, he was already on the path. If he hurts you, he was already on the path. If he gives a woman, and family, a life that he would not give you, he was already on that path. You cannot change him, or that. He changes himself. But the imagery created around the bad boy makes you think otherwise.

So all of that was to say that women, in my opinion, are attracted to the bad boys for the persona and the imagery that goes with what a bad boy is perceived to be. The good guy is overlooked because he's corny; in comparison. The good guy doesn't need to be worked on. Building a bad boy up and making him change for the better has a subconscious reward of self-worth for women. A reward that is not available when being involved with the good guy. He has is proverbial "shit together;" therefore, the feeling of contribution seems to be absent. Plus, there's a level of excitement expected through the potential danger of being involved with the bad boy. However, it’s all an illusion that only ends in pain and disappointment for the women who like the bad boys.

But these are just my views and opinions. Nothing is definitive law or anything...just something to think about...something different to look at...feel me?

Peace, love, knowledge and freedom...


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