Skip to main content

5 Signs You're Not Ready For A Relationship

Sometimes we want something that we don't need. And relationships is one of them, when we see others in relationships, and having children we think we want the same. But quickly realize that we are not ready for that life, so what are the early signs that we are not ready for a relationship? here are my 5 warnings that you not ready for a relationship.



1.Sabotage
When the relationship is good its good, but what the relationship is bad then its really bad. When we finally get the relationship we wanted so bad, it hard to believe after so many failed relationships; it’s hard to believe there any “good men” out there. So when we are in a good relationship we are waiting for the ball to drop, we are waiting for something bad to happen in the relationship because it’s hard to believe that you are in a relationship that is so peaceful, and you can’t believe that you are in blissful place. He makes you feel like a queen he gives you a feeling you have been praying for, for a long time.  So in fear you start doing little situations to push him away, and its works you sending ridiculous texts, and you pick fights for no reasons. All because you bored, and in truth you scared to lose him. So share your feelings with him or end the relationship.


2.B words anxiety
Believe it or not, women fear relationships too. Men thinks all women wants a relationship, and wants to get marry, and to have children, but there those few women who is like Samantha from “sex in the city” who don’t want the label, who fear heartbreaks and don’t want to deals with unnecessary let down that comes with relationships. So when they meet a man that wants more then what they are willing to give its gives them anxiety, and build a wall up between her, and that guy. These are the women that most men go for because it’s a role change, she doing everything that he has done before to other women. While some men can deal with this when the role change, most men can’t which build trust issues in that man which mean the next woman got to work harder in that relationship. So if you are a woman who don’t believe in relationships and sleeping with a man who wants a relationship, be upfront and tell him the truth there are no reason to lie about what you truly want.



3.Age Factor
Sometimes we rush in a relationship for two factors: timing and the aging factor. We are not getting younger, so we at that age where we think we are ready for the whole image we see everyone else have the husband, the house, and the kids, and everything that comes with that life. And when you thinking about those “what if” and “what if you won’t meet another man like him again?”. Common fears that most women have when they are nearing 30. In our minds and the minds that they paint in us at an early age, we got to have it all before we hit 30, and I met many women who actually have it all before they are 30. And that the huge problem is that timing, and their age plays a huge role in many of those choices. we always tend to look at other people lives and feel like we are missing something, because at that moment in time we don’t have it. But I have met many women who has told me they wish they were in my shoes, and while I’m thinking that I’m behind for not having the husband and kids they wishing to have my life (now I don’t believe them most of the time, but I believe a few).  So we get ourselves in something that can have might not end happily ever after, so before you rush into a relationship stop, and make sure this is something you want.


4.you’re waiting for prince charming
Let be real, we all have picture our dream man. My dream man is over 6 feet and got a full grown beard basically I want a man like big krit (if you don’t know who he is google him), but that my dream man; and many women like me have a dream man as well. But see for some women they want to turn their dream man to a reality, which is why most women hold off from wanting a relationship, and getting into a relationship. Now I do believe in holding off on a relationship for getting yourself together, because love is work and you got to make sure you in a place where you are ready for a relationship, and what comes with it. But to wait for an image you painted in your head is a waste of time, no I’m not saying to settle, a dream man is just that a dream, there no such thing as a perfect man just a man who is perfect for you. And I’m sure your mother has told you this so it’s not like I’m saying anything different, so if you met a guy who nothing like that dream give him a chance he could be more like your dreams then you realize.



5.tin-woman syndrome
When a woman get hurts time after time again it’s hard for her to feel comfortable in a relationship. Or with any man in that matters, so in fear of getting hurt again she cut her feeling off thinking that this will help her from getting hurt again. For a while its will, and you push away many men from this actions. Its kept you from getting hurt or let down, but the problems the longer you do it the more distant its keep you from finding love. No one want to get hurt, but having a tin-woman heart not just push away men, its push your friends away too. As I been writing I notice many people don’t know nor truly understand how to love a person. We paint so many pictures off our family relationship, and our friend’s relationship, and so quick to say that the relationship we want. But not understanding the time they put in to get to that place, so that why we rush in a relationship knowing deep inside that is the last thing we need at the moment. We don’t need to have a tin-man heart to avoid from getting hurt we just need to take out that time to fully know what we need, and to learn from those mistakes because they what made you the woman you are now. Mistakes are a blessing, and great life lessons don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise so don’t fear love, take mistakes as they come because we nothing without them.


As we get older, we wonder how our life would be if we made a different. “what if I got married?” ,” what if I did this differently?” while we wish we made some better choices we knock ourselves down for the choices we didn’t make. There so many things I wish I have done differently, but I realize that if I didn’t make those mistakes I wouldn’t be able to help other women to avoid my mistakes. We can’t live in the past of our mistakes, we got to take them as they come. Let them make you stronger don’t live in regret.



That Is All

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Top Five Worst Women To Be In A Relationship With

Well, I was asked, and I deliver so to speak. Even though I don’t post the letters of questions I receive from women, I still answer back. And I read these letters seeing how women answer their own questions, to why they have relationship problems. I knew if I wrote this article that I would be label as a “pick me” and that not even the case. I’m far from a “pick me” but I have observed certain behavior where I knew why these women were still single. This list is not only for my readers, writing this made me look at some of my actions as well in what areas I need to work on as I continue to grow as a woman. Before I wrote this, I had to ask 5 men, and these were the women they chose who gave them hell. Yes, I’m aware that some of these actions were fueled by the hand of men who let them down and broke their heart. But it's no point to carry that into your next relationship. Like I always say you don’t have to agree with me, but it has to be written. So, here are the top five wors…

When Hurt People Hurt: Nas and Kelis

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Sometimes the demons we face, are not the person we’ve dated fault. We’ll never know the demons anyone truly face, until they decide if they want to take it out on us. We try to be there and show them something different but soon realize their demons are slowly killing us. As I come to learn a man is his mother image. A man is what his mother make him to be, he may carry out some of his father actions; but his character come from his mother. Like a woman is what her father tell her to be. Whether he speak it with his words or speak it with his actions (by not being in her life), a woman carry her father words with her everywhere she goes and in all of her relationships. That why sometimes when a man is reckless, if his mother understand his actions then no one else opinion of him even matter. Vice versa with a woman. We chose to play doctor but doesn’t stay around to fully cure that person injuries. We just add more cuts, to an already wounded soul…

Dating In Memphis: Top 5 Places To Go On a Date In Memphis

If you’re from Memphis then you know everyone favorite line here is “it nothing to do in Memphis”. Before last year I used to think the same thing. Going to the same hangouts, and eating at the same restaurants then getting on social media crying about how it nothing to do here or Memphis isn’t safe anymore. And of course, everyone favorite line "they shut down all the fun places in Memphis". It wasn’t until one night that I went out, and I had the time of my life at a place I never been before. The crazy part is I drove past this place several times not knowing it was a great place to hang out, and have fun (then the food was good). Since everyone here claim it nothing to do in Memphis, it leads to lack of creativity in the dating department. Well, this is where I step in and try to help. Dating is what keep the relationship alive. No matters how long you been with the person, you still have to date that person to keep that fire burning. The thing is nowhere in this univers…