Skip to main content

5 Signs You're Not Ready For A Relationship

Sometimes we want something that we don't need. And relationships is one of them, when we see others in relationships, and having children we think we want the same. But quickly realize that we are not ready for that life, so what are the early signs that we are not ready for a relationship? here are my 5 warnings that you not ready for a relationship.



1.Sabotage
When the relationship is good its good, but what the relationship is bad then its really bad. When we finally get the relationship we wanted so bad, it hard to believe after so many failed relationships; it’s hard to believe there any “good men” out there. So when we are in a good relationship we are waiting for the ball to drop, we are waiting for something bad to happen in the relationship because it’s hard to believe that you are in a relationship that is so peaceful, and you can’t believe that you are in blissful place. He makes you feel like a queen he gives you a feeling you have been praying for, for a long time.  So in fear you start doing little situations to push him away, and its works you sending ridiculous texts, and you pick fights for no reasons. All because you bored, and in truth you scared to lose him. So share your feelings with him or end the relationship.


2.B words anxiety
Believe it or not, women fear relationships too. Men thinks all women wants a relationship, and wants to get marry, and to have children, but there those few women who is like Samantha from “sex in the city” who don’t want the label, who fear heartbreaks and don’t want to deals with unnecessary let down that comes with relationships. So when they meet a man that wants more then what they are willing to give its gives them anxiety, and build a wall up between her, and that guy. These are the women that most men go for because it’s a role change, she doing everything that he has done before to other women. While some men can deal with this when the role change, most men can’t which build trust issues in that man which mean the next woman got to work harder in that relationship. So if you are a woman who don’t believe in relationships and sleeping with a man who wants a relationship, be upfront and tell him the truth there are no reason to lie about what you truly want.



3.Age Factor
Sometimes we rush in a relationship for two factors: timing and the aging factor. We are not getting younger, so we at that age where we think we are ready for the whole image we see everyone else have the husband, the house, and the kids, and everything that comes with that life. And when you thinking about those “what if” and “what if you won’t meet another man like him again?”. Common fears that most women have when they are nearing 30. In our minds and the minds that they paint in us at an early age, we got to have it all before we hit 30, and I met many women who actually have it all before they are 30. And that the huge problem is that timing, and their age plays a huge role in many of those choices. we always tend to look at other people lives and feel like we are missing something, because at that moment in time we don’t have it. But I have met many women who has told me they wish they were in my shoes, and while I’m thinking that I’m behind for not having the husband and kids they wishing to have my life (now I don’t believe them most of the time, but I believe a few).  So we get ourselves in something that can have might not end happily ever after, so before you rush into a relationship stop, and make sure this is something you want.


4.you’re waiting for prince charming
Let be real, we all have picture our dream man. My dream man is over 6 feet and got a full grown beard basically I want a man like big krit (if you don’t know who he is google him), but that my dream man; and many women like me have a dream man as well. But see for some women they want to turn their dream man to a reality, which is why most women hold off from wanting a relationship, and getting into a relationship. Now I do believe in holding off on a relationship for getting yourself together, because love is work and you got to make sure you in a place where you are ready for a relationship, and what comes with it. But to wait for an image you painted in your head is a waste of time, no I’m not saying to settle, a dream man is just that a dream, there no such thing as a perfect man just a man who is perfect for you. And I’m sure your mother has told you this so it’s not like I’m saying anything different, so if you met a guy who nothing like that dream give him a chance he could be more like your dreams then you realize.



5.tin-woman syndrome
When a woman get hurts time after time again it’s hard for her to feel comfortable in a relationship. Or with any man in that matters, so in fear of getting hurt again she cut her feeling off thinking that this will help her from getting hurt again. For a while its will, and you push away many men from this actions. Its kept you from getting hurt or let down, but the problems the longer you do it the more distant its keep you from finding love. No one want to get hurt, but having a tin-woman heart not just push away men, its push your friends away too. As I been writing I notice many people don’t know nor truly understand how to love a person. We paint so many pictures off our family relationship, and our friend’s relationship, and so quick to say that the relationship we want. But not understanding the time they put in to get to that place, so that why we rush in a relationship knowing deep inside that is the last thing we need at the moment. We don’t need to have a tin-man heart to avoid from getting hurt we just need to take out that time to fully know what we need, and to learn from those mistakes because they what made you the woman you are now. Mistakes are a blessing, and great life lessons don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise so don’t fear love, take mistakes as they come because we nothing without them.


As we get older, we wonder how our life would be if we made a different. “what if I got married?” ,” what if I did this differently?” while we wish we made some better choices we knock ourselves down for the choices we didn’t make. There so many things I wish I have done differently, but I realize that if I didn’t make those mistakes I wouldn’t be able to help other women to avoid my mistakes. We can’t live in the past of our mistakes, we got to take them as they come. Let them make you stronger don’t live in regret.



That Is All

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When Hurt People Hurt: Nas and Kelis

You can’t fix what you didn’t break. Sometimes the demons we face, are not the person we’ve dated fault. We’ll never know the demons anyone truly face, until they decide if they want to take it out on us. We try to be there and show them something different but soon realize their demons are slowly killing us. As I come to learn a man is his mother image. A man is what his mother make him to be, he may carry out some of his father actions; but his character come from his mother. Like a woman is what her father tell her to be. Whether he speak it with his words or speak it with his actions (by not being in her life), a woman carry her father words with her everywhere she goes and in all of her relationships. That why sometimes when a man is reckless, if his mother understand his actions then no one else opinion of him even matter. Vice versa with a woman. We chose to play doctor but doesn’t stay around to fully cure that person injuries. We just add more cuts, to an already wounded soul…

My Thoughts on Love Is...

As I always say, when the love is real it not meant for anyone on the outside to understand. I always ask women “what would they do for love?” Some women answer, while some just look at me like I’m crazy. Everyone loves to claim they have a limitation on love. However, as one told me you only have limitation when you haven’t met your match. Now, before I could write this story I had to re-watch this series twice just to make sure I was understanding what I was watching. Therefore, after watching this show I got something to say and it won’t be pretty. My new addiction celebrating black love is Love Is”, which tells the origin story of a modern-day love, before social media came and destroyed well trying to destroy love for everyone. This show has become the topic of discussion more than this season of “Insecure” (I’m still waiting for that wow moment of this season). Love Is_ is set in '90s. And tells the story of two Black creatives who fall for each other quickly. Nuri works as…

What to Do When A Person Ghost You

We all knew this day was coming and now it time I write about it. This Sunday night, was the season finale of “insecure." Now, before I get to the point of the story I must share my thoughts of this whole season. I was looking for that spark this season like season one, and two, but I didn’t receive one until the end. Even the whole Daniel and Issa storyline that was a letdown. When I saw she brought back Lawrence I was hoping that finally they would work it out, but again Lawrence on that bitch ass shit. However, the relationship between Nathan and Issa was the talk on black twitter. While Issa thoughts she finally met a good guy who challenge her, Nathan proved that “the lighter the eyes, the bigger the lies.” While we have to wait until Next Year to see exactly where this relationship will go, Nathan pulled a move that was close to home for many people. It hurt like hell when a person leave you without any warning or reasons. It leave you asking yourself, “What did you do?” We…